I started feeling a bit better after my last post. It’s kind of weird how just writing it all out can make you feel better. It’s not like it fixes anything, it’s not like anyone who can do anything about it read it, but I no longer felt like I was walking around under a huge cloud.
I sent it to my husband and we talked a bit about where we’re going. I joined a forum for people with infertility that’s actually active and all the people seem nice (I haven’t seen a single negative post, not sure if it’s moderated or if it’s just been lucky so far — seems internet forums attract crazy people a lot of the time) and I’ve been poking around and asking some questions and gathering info.
I heard about some seminars that go over all the adoption stuff — how to do it, the difference between all the different types of adoptions, blah blah. Some of them are pay and the CAS does ones that are free.
I contacted the local CAS and the Toronto one and asked them if they offer the courses (since some people said they were great, and some said they weren’t worth quite what you pay to go) and they said that the only course they offer is the mandatory PRIDE course and their waiting list is two years.
Luckily, you can also do those courses privately, though you have to pay for them. The reason CAS has such a wait list is because it’s all free. But if you do everything through them you have to adopt through them, which really limits your options. So we’ll pay a bit more and do everything privately and get through faster.
So I contacted a local guy who does the courses to ask about the availability of his classes (he has a bunch of sessions in 2011 and even some in 2010 still and he said there is space at all of them still. So that’s good. On the forum I’ve heard good things about this guy, and I was impressed with the speed at which he answered me. He also does the homestudy so if we really like him after doing the course, we can stick with him.
And all that needs to be done and you need to be approved to go on the adoption list (which can take a year or so) before you have to decide exactly what type of adoption you want to do, so that gives us time to figure things out as we gather information. And if things happen on our own (either by ourselves or if we decide to do IVF after all), that’s great. But I think even if it does happen on our own, unless we end up with twins we might go the adoption route because there is absolutely no way I want to go through all of this again.
So. Kind of excited to have a plan in place, though I know it involves a lot of waiting and not knowing. I’m hoping that some of my concerns about adopting will be addressed during the process, but I know that I feel better about moving ahead with this right now than I do about moving forward with IVF.