I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

Archive for April, 2013

19 months, 25 days

Look at me, I’m still here!

Despite the fact that he seems to be fighting a cold, or at the very least has a runny nose and a cough as a result of the snot, he has been sleeping well (KNOCK ON WOOD). If he wakes up at all, I can either get him back to sleep easily or I snuggle him a bit and then put him down awake and he’s okay. Sometimes he cries a bit but then stops within a minute or two. I’m still afraid that each time will be the start of a new phase of not sleeping or whatever, especially right now with the runny nose (I’m guessing it’s not a cold or at least he’s not feeling badly since he’s going down easily).

His language is still exploding, which continues to be fascinating. His physical development has improved as well – he’s so close to walking now. Over the weekend we took him swimming and he was walking in the pool. I guess the extra resistance of the water gave him the confidence, or maybe he just didn’t notice. We were having trouble keeping up with him (the pool has a graduated depth entrance to it, so he was going shallower and deeper and it’s hard enough to move well when you’re a grown up because of the shallowness but because we were staying where it was not over his head, it was even harder) so we put a life jacket on him so that we didn’t have to be quite as paranoid and have a hand on him at all times (we just held on to the loop at the back of the life jacket) and he was all over the place. And when he’d lose his footing and float onto his back, he’d be shouting “No no no!” the whole time and made frustrated growling noises until we stood him back up, it was quite funny. He even walked into shallow water to his knees (so the water and life jacket weren’t supporting him) and he kept walking until he realized what he was doing and got on his knees instead. I took him to a local play place that’s all tubes and tunnels and stuff and it’s really too old for him, but I was able to encourage him to come and challenge his comfort zone and he did really well. Since then we’ve gone a few times and some times he’s braver than others but he was leading the way for a lot of it, and now he’s doing a lot of new things on his own, like climbing and stuff he hadn’t really done a whole lot of. When we go to the park he climbs on the equipment (if there are stairs) and he goes down the slides by himself (that was new today, as well as saying “slide! slide!” over and over) and it’s so nice to see him getting brave (for him!) and doing things that he wouldn’t have done before. He gets upset less and for less time than he used to and often I’m still hugging him and he’s decided he’s fine and ready to move on again, where before he would hug me for a bit before going off again.

I still haven’t found something for me to do. I find that anytime I try to plan something, something always comes up to wreck the plans. And committing to something for weeks means extra work to find babysitting because Husband travels so much. I did go out by myself two weekends ago though. I just said I was going out and I would be back in a couple of hours and left. I felt sort of bad because I sprung it on him and I just felt guilty, but I really enjoyed my time. I just went to the library with my book and sat and read in peace and quiet for two hours. Until a kid came over and started talking to me 😛 It’s been a rough go lately between Husband traveling and also working on side projects on weekends, which is great because it’s money and that means I get to stay home and not return to work, but it’s still tough. And I’m sure it’s tough for him too, working all the time and being away from home, but that doesn’t mean I can’t complain when it sucks sometimes.

I wanted to write more but it’s late so posting this now.