I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

17 months, 2 days

I’m not sure exactly when you declare a baby officially weaned, but it’s been three days with no nursing. I keep expecting him to ask for it, but so far he just opens his mouth for his paci and snuggles in and closes his eyes. We snuggle for a few minutes and then I put him down and he’s been fine.

He did wake up last night at 11:30 or so, but I went into his room without turning on the lamp and I snuggled him in the glider and put him back down and then calmed him down again by sitting next to his crib. He quieted down but I woke him up when I tried to leave (if he was asleep at all, I’m not sure if he was or not – it’s hard to tell in the dark when I can’t see his eyes and his breathing is sometimes an unreliable way to tell, unless he’s snoring) and I was hoping he would fall back asleep but instead he got so upset he couldn’t stop on his own so I had to go back in. This time he fell asleep on me in the glider and didn’t wake up when I put him down. All told, it took an hour and a half or so to get him back down, but it beat him being up for hours and all of us getting broken sleep and he and I ending up in the guest room together because he refuses anything else.

It’s so frustrating when he wakes up and to not really know what’s wrong. Before it was a growth spurt and that was okay because he was eating huge amounts nonstop all day and then eating a lot when he’d wake up. Annoying, but at least we knew what the issue was. Now, he cries and points down the stairs, but he’s not hungry when I bring him down and he keeps crying until finally he…. I have no idea, wakes up enough maybe?… and then he’d stop and play for a while until he got tired enough to fall asleep. I’m hoping that if I don’t get him up and stay in his room we might both cut down on the amount of time he’s awake and hopefully the number of times he wakes up. Since I’m not sure if he’s having nightmares or if he’s waking up and deciding he wants attention or what (I’m suspecting the former, but I’m not sure) it’s hard to know what exactly the best move is.

The other morning in the tub, FrostedBaby was playing with his rubber ducky and he hugged it and rocked and it told me “baby”. A few minutes later, I asked him “what do you do with a baby?” and he picked up another bath toy and did the same thing. I got video of him last night where I asked him that and he picked up his blue teddy bear, hugged it, and went “eeh” and dropped it on its head on the floor. Hilarious. “What do you do with a baby?” rockrockrock thump. Definitely ready to be a big brother 😉



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