I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

12 months, 26 days (I think)

It’s been a bit since I last updated. We’ve been pretty busy and I was really tired for a while there because after the baseball game, FrostedBaby stopped napping so there was very little free time for me and when I had it, I didn’t have the energy to update. I’m not sure what was up with him, but I suspect teeth since his eye teeth finally decided to come in (three of four have broken the gums) and he was pretty miserable and chompy. Luckily he was sleeping well at night and going to bed early, but an overtired whiney kid during the day is hard to take after a while, especially since a lot of those days I had planned appointments and stuff around his nap and when it didn’t happen at the right time, I couldn’t just try again later. I hate when that happens, it makes me feel like I’m not doing a good job or I’m being selfish if I insist on making my appointment instead of staying home to try to get him to sleep. Luckily he’s generally a pretty good baby even when he’s tired.

Last week my Uncle who has been battling colon cancer (and it spread but I can’t remember exactly where to – I know they found it on other organs and stuff, but not sure if it went to his lymph nodes) for the past 3 years died so we had a spur-of-the-moment trip down to Michigan for the funeral. It was bad timing because we had a busy weekend of celebrating my sister’s birthday and seeing a friend we haven’t seen in a while so we were away from home for a couple of days; if I’d known that this was coming I would have stayed home over the weekend and kept things quiet and in our routine in preparation. In the end, he was pretty good. He slept for a few hours in the car on the way down and the way home and kept himself entertained with toys and looking out the window. He really only got fussy on the way down in the last hour or so. He obviously felt nervous about being in the hotel though since he refused to sleep on his own. I’d get him to sleep then I’d try to put him down and he’d wake up and scream but the second I had him in my arms again, he would go right back to sleep. Finally I gave up trying to put him down and brought him into bed with me and he fell asleep instantly. I, on the other hand, barely got any sleep because I didn’t get a chance to unwind or read before I went to bed (I always read to turn my brain off), I HATE being touched while I’m sleeping and he wanted to be touching me, plus I was paranoid that I was going to sleep through him waking up and rolling over or crawling and fall out of bed so I both had to touch him and snapped awake any time he moved.

The next day was the funeral and it was a pretty long day and FrostedBaby wouldn’t nap again, even when I tried laying down with him. The obit had the times listed as “family at 2:00, friends at 5:00” or something along those lines, but it was actually the visitation started at 2 and the service was at 5. We went at 2 and ended up having to hang around for hours, which would be fine for adults but it was difficult with a tired baby. He was really good though, crawled up and down the halls and charmed everyone. It was really nice to see family we haven’t seen in a long time, it was too bad it was under not-so-great circumstances. It was finally time for the service and I nursed FrostedBaby to keep him quiet and he finally fell asleep… right up until people clapped. Seriously, who claps at a funeral?!? Then he was awake and I had to walk up and down the hallway with him for the rest of it to keep him calm. Thank goodness I recently bought a Mo.by wrap because it was on sale. I was still deciding whether to keep it or not since I really wanted one that’s less stretchy and wasn’t sure how it would work with a baby of his weight, but decided that I’d rather have it as an option just in case. All I can say is that it’s already paid for itself just in the convenience over our trip. He was so clingy and separation anxiety-y a lot that it made carrying him a lot easier and I think I walked up and down for a couple of hours and my arms and back weren’t tired at all from it.

There was a dinner after the funeral that had really amazing food and FrostedBaby chowed down on this pasta that they had there. My mom and sister thought it was too spicy, but he loved it. I’ve tried to replicate it since we came home using cream cheese as the sauce base and while it doesn’t taste the same, he seems to like it. It’s so nice that there is more stuff he can eat when we’re out so I don’t need to pack every single thing. I make sure to have stuff with us just in case there’s not enough but I’m using a lot less of it now. Once in a while I don’t mind him having more salt or less healthy food than he eats at home – that’s just life and as long as it’s not every meal, I can’t get too upset about it.

Actually, feeding him while we were away was a lot easier than I’d feared it was going to be. I took down a bunch of cheese plus some of those fruit bar things since those can cross the border, I fed him some fresh fruit and stuff at lunch on the way down that shouldn’t cross but he ate those up while we were still in Canada. The hotel we stay at has a really good breakfast buffet so I was able to give him breakfast and steal some stuff from there for his other meals to combine with eating some of whatever we were eating. I did end up buying a package of cheese and a banana for him for our travel home day, but that was a lot less than I’d expected to have to buy. I also did nurse him a little more than normal, especially on funeral day, but he was happy about that because he was feeling so out of sorts and I think he liked the snuggle time. There was also one night that he woke up a few more times to eat because he didn’t have much dinner, just his snacks and stuff but we didn’t eat until late and he was so exhausted by the time we got back to the hotel that I just put him to bed and dealt with him waking up more.

Since we got back, he slept the whole night without getting up and he’s been napping like crazy. Last night though he was up a couple of times. I think the second time (at 5am) he was actually cold since he didn’t seem all that interested in the eating. I changed him into warmer pajamas, which made him scream and scream and then I tried to nurse him on the second side just to make sure and he screamed and bit me. Ouch! Finally got him calmed down and he nursed and fell asleep so I think he was thinking I was getting him up for the day since I usually only change him then and he wanted to sleep more.Β  No problem, kid! πŸ˜‰

He’s suddenly started putting things into things instead of just taking them out. He has a truck at my parents’ place that’s a flatbed thing and it has animals that ride in there and he’s starting putting them in there, then causing a crash so they go flying and then he puts them back in. And he has one of those shape sorter buckets and he started putting his other toys into it. At one point I said we should clean up all the shapes and he started putting them in the bucket, and then went and got this busy book and tried to put it in there as well, but it wouldn’t fit. It’s really cute πŸ™‚

My sister got him these little balls that have a flashy thing inside that lights up when you hit it, and he was watching us hitting it on the table or floor to turn it on and then he started doing that too, although he can’t hit it hard enough. It’s so neat to see him processing what’s going on and then showing that he’s really paying attention and is putting two and two together.

This post has been sitting here all day since FrostedBaby woke up from his nap, and now I’m going to bed so I’m going to post it before I realize it’s still here in a week from now πŸ˜‰



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