I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

Looks like I might be back in business. This is actually much faster to post anyway, it doesn’t have to load this stupid post counter that says, “this was your Xth post, only Y more until your next goal of Z posts!” Considering these are goals it’s setting for me, not ones I’m particularly interested in, I can skip that part. While I do like know how many there are, the goal part bugs me.

FrostedBaby is down for his morning nap, though he’s not sleeping yet even though he was dead asleep when I put him down. For the past month or so his napping has been very sporadic and his sleeping at night has been not so great either. He was refusing at least one of his naps all of a sudden, would cry and cry and not fall asleep until I’d finally give up and get him up like an hour later. I know I get a break even when he’s not really sleeping, but it’s really only relaxing time if he’s asleep because I have to listen to him whine and squawk and then cry and I never really get to turn off. Not that I ever really get to fully, but I do a bit more when he’s not awake.

At night he started waking up multiple times in the early evenings and I’d have to go up and rock him because he’d very quickly get hysterical and not be able to bring himself down. I have mixed feelings about whether or not going up is helpful. I know he can still put himself to sleep because he does it at naptime a lot (when he goes at all), but at night he was having trouble. I don’t want to get into the habit of him needing to be rocked to sleep because I’m already “stuck” to him for nursing and all the other things only I can get him to do (and can’t really get husband to do because he’s been away for the past 6 weeks), I don’t need to add more to that list so I can never get out by myself. This whole sleeping thing is definitely a challenge, and it makes it worse sometimes to read books and see what they all say we “should” be doing.

I think a lot of it is due to the 8 month developmental milestones. The worst of the not-sleeping was right before he figured out how to roll over. I’m also wondering if he might be dropping a nap. It’s common for that to happen around now… except usually they go from 3 naps to 2 and he’s only ever taken 2 since he goes to bed early. Problem is that while he won’t sleep, he is *exhausted* by bedtime. Though it does mean that his last feeding is usually pretty short because he falls asleep and that generally allows me enough time before he wakes up screaming (if he does at all) to eat dinner, which gives me more patience and tolerance for his shenanigans.

Speaking of going out alone, my parents have watched him a few times while I ran out to pick up husband from the airport (we’ve been spending lots of time at their place since they’re only 20 minutes from the airport while husband flies in for usually less than 24 hours before he’s off again) and other things. He’s been very good and while he looks around for me, he’s fine. He’ll often get upset when I walk in though… I think it’s because it’s like when you’re on your best behaviour for people you don’t know as well and as soon as you’re back in a comfortable environment or with people you know well, you can be yourself again. I think it means that he’s comfortable enough with me to not be on his best behaviour all the time. I’m not sure if he’s aware enough for that type of thinking, but it certainly seems that that’s the way he acts.

Last week my parents sent husband and I out to have dinner together after FrostedBaby was down for the night. We ate and when we came back he was screaming. Apparently he woke up and had some gas and then settled down. He wasn’t asleep, but he wasn’t screaming and he seemed calm at least. Then my mom shifted her foot to be more comfortable and knocked something on the floor and he went ballistic, and naturally that was when we got home, before he’d calmed down again. I ran upstairs and took him and the second he was in my arms, he stopped. Poor guy. It’s nice to know that even if he doesn’t go back to sleep, he’ll at least be calm if I’m out. Assuming no scary loud noises, obviously 😉

I installed a baby gate this week. It was on sale (those things are so expensive, even on sale!) so I grabbed it and looked at the others available to watch for them on sale. I put it in the most important spot, which is a step down to the laundry, washroom, and garage that’s off the main front area where his playroom is. He’s not super mobile quiet yet, but he’s starting to chain together his rolling so that he’s moving off his playmat. He has to go a fair ways to get there, but that’s not too far off and he could potentially fall down that step now. It turns out that the girl who’s given us most of his clothes also has gates available so I’m hoping that she’ll have good ones for the stairs and maybe some others for the other areas of the house. I’m not 100% positive how I want to block things off, I keep changing my mind so maybe that might help me decide. I guess we might also decide as he gets more and more mobile.

He’s been moving around in his crib a lot. A few times I’ve gone in and he’s on his tummy though whether he’s crying because he’s “stuck” or whether he rolled over because he was awake, I’m not sure yet. It doesn’t happen often enough, even when I know he’s awake (like right now) for me to think he’s doing it in his sleep like a lot of babies. Plus, he knows how to roll onto his back with no problem, though I guess it’s always different if you’re half awake. Anyway, twice I’ve gone in and he’s been sideways across his bed, one of those times he was crammed up at the top of the bed. And this morning I went in and he was the opposite way from how I put him. The best part is I go in and see him like that and he laughs and laughs like he’s pulled a clever trick on me.

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