I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

5 months, 4 weeks

We are starting solids today. He has been showing more and more that he’s ready and I feel that we’re all ready to start and I don’t see the point in waiting a few extra days until he officially turns 6 months old, I think it’s close enough especially since he probably won’t eat very much at all. In addition to his watching and grabbing food from us, I think his tongue reflex has at least weakened a bit, I pureed the sweet potato yesterday for him and he’s going to get it today at lunchtime, sometime after he has his after-nap feeding. Guess we’ll see how it goes to see if he’s fully ready or needs a bit more time.

I naturally had all sorts of dreams about it – one where I heated it up too hot and it wouldn’t cool down, one where I couldn’t read the spoon properly (the ones I got have a colour changing tip that tells you the food is too hot… I didn’t buy them for that, they were the cheapest ones, but I think it might be useful anyway at least at first until we know what we’re doing better) so I didn’t know if it was too hot or not (and because it was a dream, I couldn’t just test it myself :P), another where he was eating and eating and I was physically incapable of stopping giving him more, and another one where I went to feed him and someone had added rice and some dehydrated vegetables (like one of those soup cups where you add boiling water) so we couldn’t give it to him after all.

Today is Dadurday! That’s what I’ve started calling Saturdays since I’ve started getting husband to give him his morning bath and take a more active role than he does the rest of the time. Today he’s attempting to put him down for his nap for the first time. I’m afraid that if it’s always me, that he’ll get too used to that and it’ll be a problem if I ever want to go out over that timeframe. He already has me tied to him for feeding times, I don’t want to be “stuck” doing everything because he needs me all the time. He was crying a few minutes ago but now he’s quiet so I’m not sure what’s going on. I want to go up and see but I don’t want him to see me and then decide that he doesn’t want Daddy anymore.

Husband already suffers from that enough because I’m with him all the time so anytime he tries to do something new (like giving him his bath for the first time) FrostedBaby gets upset. I’m hoping that doing more will give husband more confidence in his own abilities and maybe realize all that I do. I think sometimes that I do things so…. not sure what the word is – efficiently? well? That sounds like I’m tooting my own horn which I don’t mean to do, but I don’t think he realizes that I would like a break and some help and for him to take a more active role in things. Most of all I’d like to see him *want* to take an active role and spend more time with his son, but I think he’s hesitant to do that if I seem to have things under control and it doesn’t help that he doesn’t do it often enough so FrostedBaby complains when it’s not me.

I went to my parents’ house on Wednesday and stayed overnight into Thursday, and on Thursday morning my mom and I took FrostedBaby swimming. This was his 5th or 6th time going and this was the first time where he actually was interacting with the water and really seemed to be enjoying himself. Other times, he would smile a bit and laugh and stuff after he warmed up to the idea (he starts off very serious and taking it all in so it’s hard to tell if he’s really enjoying himself or just tolerating it, though he’s not screaming so I assume that means it’s not horrible :P), but not much. This time he was splashing with his arms and legs, sticking his face in the water repeatedly (and coughing as a result a lot of the time, though not always), sticking his tongue in the water, and he was playing with some floaty foam shapes they have too. If we put him on his tummy, he would kick his legs a bit. It was a lot of fun and really cute.

I’m hoping that we can sign him up for swimming “lessons to” do with Daddy on a weekend morning and they can do that together without me. Since husband loves swimming and it now appears that FrostedBaby is really starting to enjoy it, it would be a great thing for them to do. There are lessons starting in April that run until June. I wonder if a lot of dads go to the weekend ones or if it’s mostly the moms.

He’s discovered over the last few days that he has a tongue. He’s been sticking his tongue out a little (barely past his lips) since he was just a few weeks old, but now suddenly he’s sticking it out really far. We thought he must have Daddy’s short tongue, but he must have inherited mine after all, since mine is really long. I think he keeps sticking it out because he’s rubbing it along his upper gums where at least two teeth are still coming in, and I keep wondering if I’m seeing evidence of the side ones as well, though that seems to come and go still so not positive if it’s not a trick of the light, which is what I thought about the middle ones for the first bit. His gums look bumpy on the two sides as well, as opposed to smooth. It would be kind of nice if they all came in together, rather than having several separate miserable episodes, to have it all done in one.


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