I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

5 months, 3 weeks, 3 days

Nap times have not been a lot of fun lately. Sometime he goes down so easily with no problems and other times he cries and cries and cries. I used to go in and repacifier him, but that didn’t work very often and he would stop crying just long enough to realize I wasn’t there to rescue him, and then he’d start all over. I could go in and snuggle him easily to sleep, but as soon as I put him down, he’d wake up and start again. The only way he would reliably sleep is if I kept holding him, which is fine sometimes but his naptimes are also my break times and a chance to eat, get stuff done, and/or be on the computer with TWO HANDS! So as much as I didn’t want to do it, we’re doing CIO. I think. I’ve never actually read a book on it, but if I know he’s okay, I’m not going in there. And it seems to be working – he’ll go to sleep eventually. But it sucks to hear him crying, especially if he sounds really upset, and some days I feel like all I do is listen to him cry because he naps every few hours. I’m hoping it’ll get better and he won’t cry as long pretty soon. I was finding it hard to be consistent with what I was doing so I had to choose something that was either all or nothing, and since all didn’t appear to be working well – he gets excited when he sees me; I even tried the shhh-pat from a certain book and all it did was get him excited that I was standing over him touching him. I think that must be for babies whose problems are different than ours. He has no problems with self-soothing when he wants to be in bed, like at bedtime or certain naptimes, it’s just breaking him of his habit of crying hoping someone will come and rescue him.

The big thing now is how to extend his naps reliably longer than about 30 minutes. Sometimes he goes longer, but sometimes it’s shorter, but most often it’s right on the 30 minute mark that he wakes up. And he’s usually crying, which the books say means he’s still tired. But letting him cry doesn’t make him go back to sleep usually, he just gets more and more upset in a different way. I have another book that was recommended to me but I have yet to read it. I guess the good thing is that bedtime is a cinch and he’s a great sleeper at night, so it’s just nap times that are a problem.

In exactly one week he will be 6 months old. Over the past few weeks he’s started to show a lot of interest in us eating, which means he’s just about ready to start solids. He would watch us occasionally, but not too much and now it’s pretty much anytime we eat in front of him he’s staring at us intently. If he’s close enough he tries to grab things from us, including water glasses. When I went shopping yesterday I picked up some baby spoons and a sweet potato to puree and we’ll probably start next week at the latest. I’m not sure whether I’ll wait until his 6 monthiversary or if I’ll do it earlier or maybe wait a bit longer, I guess I’ll see how he seems. I think he’s ready, I’m just hesitant to start because I enjoy him having non-stinky poop (oh breastfed poop, how I love you and how I will miss you) and it will make things a bit more complicated and require more planning ahead and all. But I am excited to try it to see how he reacts and to be able to start giving him real food. I’m a bit nervous about when he really starts relying on real food for nutrition, about making sure he gets all his food groups, but that’s a while away and hopefully I’ll have my act together by then.

There was other stuff I was going to say but it’s now much later and time to go to bed so I’m going to post this.

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