I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

Archive for February, 2012

6 months, 4 days

FrostedBaby is taking to solids like a house on fire. (I like that phrase and don’t get to use it nearly enough). He spent a few days making faces and not being sure what he was doing, and then he started to figure it out by the end of the feeding time (I hesitate to say meal because it’s so little and that seems to mean a certain amount that will be reached later on). Then on day 5 he knew what he was doing from the get-go. When he realized he was going to eat, he got excited and then start making “yumyum” noises as he eats it. If I ask him if it’s yummy, he hums back at me as if he’s answering me in the affirmative. So adorable! He went from eating maybe a tablespoon before he was done, to eating two, and then somewhere around 3, and then today when Daddy fed him (I was out getting my hair cut!), he said he was still looking for more when he’d finished what he’d set out (about 3 tablespoons) so he heated up the rest of the cube and he ate all of that too. He said he probably would have kept going too. So 6 tablespoons today. And that was not too long after nursing on both sides. And then when I got home he once again nursed on both sides. 6 month growth spurt, anyone?

Well, I sure hope it’s a growth spurt because otherwise I’m doubting my milk supply. He doesn’t seem to be hungry when he’s done eating and there seems to be a lot of milk, but it’s hard to tell and I suppose he could just be eating enough to be satisfied and not need to kick up a stink when it’s not flowing as quickly, but the timing fits and he’s definitely eating more frequently lately, plus he was sleeping a lot before the increased feeding, so I think it is.

Only reason I’m even thinking of it, besides supply always being a worry at the back of my mind, is that at his 6 month checkup at the doctor, his weight had only increased by a pound over the two months, rather than the two that it “should” be. That means he’s falling off the bottom of the percentile charts and there was a decrease in the percentile he was at for the second checkup in a row (he was 75th at 2 months, 50th at 4 months, and now at 6 months he’s down in the 2nd). I’m not really concerned because babies gain weight differently, he’s just hitting his spurt now, and he seems to be fine, but I have to go back in 4-6 weeks to get him checked again to make sure he’s gaining. The big thing is that I don’t know what I should be doing, since I feed him on demand, I let him determine when he’s done, and there seems to be good supply. So I’m letting him eat his solids as he wants them (while trying not to fill him up so much that he doesn’t want milk, but that doesn’t seem to be a concern right at this moment anyway!), I’m making sure I do offer both sides which is a change because I stopped doing that when he was younger and never wanted the other side. He will usually eat from it for a bit, so I guess that’s a good thing, but sometimes he won’t be interested. That’s pretty much all I can think of that I could change right now.

The supply concern issues aren’t helped by the fact that I’ve finally stopped overproducing, so I’m no longer leaking all over the place, I’m no longer feeling that my breasts are full all the time, they often feel like there’s not a whole lot in there. Plus he’s sleeping longer at night again so after the first night of him sleeping longer, I no longer wake up after 5 hours leaking and engorged, it takes a lot longer to feel that type of fullness, though usually I can feel that there is some filling going on. But I always feel the letdown on both sides when he eats and I can see the milk in my shield and he’s swallowing a lot and not acting like there’s nothing coming out, so I’ll just have to assume that everything’s okay. It’s so much harder to tell when your supply is perfect for your baby’s consumption. I did notice that he was sleeping straight through for a couple of nights so my supply dropped to accomodate that, then he started waking up once for a bit and I started to feel fuller at the appropriate times again, so obviously it’s adjusting itself and not just going down and not coming back up.

I had heard that there’s another sudden change in development at 6 months like there is at 3 months, like from one day to the next you have a different baby. So far I haven’t really seen that, though it’s only been 4 days. He’s started making more complicated sounds occasionally (like saying what sounds like “tequila” and other things like that) but it’s still mostly “ba” and “da” and “tha”. He found his tongue, I think partly because his top teeth are still coming in so rubbing it against the gums feels good, and now instead of blowing raspberries with just his lips, it’s all about the tongue. That combined with all the drool is messy, but really cute. Right up until he does it while he’s eating, probably 😉  He sticks his tongue way out now too, which is different since he only stuck it out to where his lips stop before, now he sticks it way out. I had thought before that he’d gotten Daddy’s short tongue, but it appears that he actually got my really long one. He thinks it’s funny when I try to grab it.

He also thinks it’s hilarious when we mock his new hip-thrusting movement that he does. I’m not sure what that’s about, I’m assuming it’s either just a “hey, look what I can move!” type thing or else it’s a step towards crawling/walking or something. Anyway, he tends to move his hips back and forth so if we do similar movements, he thinks it’s the funniest thing. It’s been harder to get belly laughs out of him lately unless I’m tickling him or blowing zerberts on his neck or belly, but he usually at least smiles at us mocking him.

I am going out for a Moms Night Out with my moms group tonight, I’m going to head out in 20 minutes or so. I’m more comfortable going to someone’s house because that’s more my scene, although we’re just going to a pub so hopefully it will be more chatting and drinking rather than dancing and stuff, which I am so not into. If it is, I hope there are others who aren’t dancers either. I love music and I dance at home, I just tend not to do it in public 😛 Hopefully it’ll be a good time! Hopefully I’ll get to stay out as long as I want, which probably won’t be that late but who knows. With his growth spurt, sometimes he’s starving after a few hours though usually he’s not up until 2am at the earliest. But naturally he’ll be able to tell I’ve gone out 😛

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update on solids

After FrostedBaby got up from his nap, around 11:15, I nursed him at 11:30 (he wasn’t hungry immediately) and then we played for a bit and then we got him into his high chair (it’s actually one of those that sits on top of a kitchen chair, like a booster chair only it has a back and a tray) and got a bib on him and I heated up the sweet potatoes.

I don’t think he knew what was going on at first, though I can’t remember if I put some on his lips first or if his mouth was open a bit so I got some in that way. In any case, after the first time he was opening his mouth wide open for the spoon and seemed very excited, right up until he got the food on his tongue or in his mouth and then he made funny faces and didn’t seem sure what to do with it. By the end, I was able to put larger spoonfuls in his mouth and actually get some in there and he swallowed most of it.

I’m not sure how much he ate, but it wasn’t much (as I was expecting) but he was more receptive to it than I expected and he made way less of a mess than I expected. And then after a few mouthfuls actually swallowed, he stopped opening his mouth and seemed less interested so we stopped.

So day one was a success! I’m glad that at the very least he was very into putting it into his mouth, which tells me I was right that he’s ready and the rest will follow. A friend of mine started a while ago although her son is around the same age and he’s been showing interest for longer, and he doesn’t seem very interested and it’s been a bit of a battle with him (I’m not sure how much of one, sometimes she says something about something and then shows me a video of it and I get a completely different impression than she gave with her description, not that that makes her wrong since she knows her kid, but still, I’m not sure if it’s expectations or what), so I’m glad that at least we seem to have started off on the right foot.

5 months, 4 weeks

We are starting solids today. He has been showing more and more that he’s ready and I feel that we’re all ready to start and I don’t see the point in waiting a few extra days until he officially turns 6 months old, I think it’s close enough especially since he probably won’t eat very much at all. In addition to his watching and grabbing food from us, I think his tongue reflex has at least weakened a bit, I pureed the sweet potato yesterday for him and he’s going to get it today at lunchtime, sometime after he has his after-nap feeding. Guess we’ll see how it goes to see if he’s fully ready or needs a bit more time.

I naturally had all sorts of dreams about it – one where I heated it up too hot and it wouldn’t cool down, one where I couldn’t read the spoon properly (the ones I got have a colour changing tip that tells you the food is too hot… I didn’t buy them for that, they were the cheapest ones, but I think it might be useful anyway at least at first until we know what we’re doing better) so I didn’t know if it was too hot or not (and because it was a dream, I couldn’t just test it myself :P), another where he was eating and eating and I was physically incapable of stopping giving him more, and another one where I went to feed him and someone had added rice and some dehydrated vegetables (like one of those soup cups where you add boiling water) so we couldn’t give it to him after all.

Today is Dadurday! That’s what I’ve started calling Saturdays since I’ve started getting husband to give him his morning bath and take a more active role than he does the rest of the time. Today he’s attempting to put him down for his nap for the first time. I’m afraid that if it’s always me, that he’ll get too used to that and it’ll be a problem if I ever want to go out over that timeframe. He already has me tied to him for feeding times, I don’t want to be “stuck” doing everything because he needs me all the time. He was crying a few minutes ago but now he’s quiet so I’m not sure what’s going on. I want to go up and see but I don’t want him to see me and then decide that he doesn’t want Daddy anymore.

Husband already suffers from that enough because I’m with him all the time so anytime he tries to do something new (like giving him his bath for the first time) FrostedBaby gets upset. I’m hoping that doing more will give husband more confidence in his own abilities and maybe realize all that I do. I think sometimes that I do things so…. not sure what the word is – efficiently? well? That sounds like I’m tooting my own horn which I don’t mean to do, but I don’t think he realizes that I would like a break and some help and for him to take a more active role in things. Most of all I’d like to see him *want* to take an active role and spend more time with his son, but I think he’s hesitant to do that if I seem to have things under control and it doesn’t help that he doesn’t do it often enough so FrostedBaby complains when it’s not me.

I went to my parents’ house on Wednesday and stayed overnight into Thursday, and on Thursday morning my mom and I took FrostedBaby swimming. This was his 5th or 6th time going and this was the first time where he actually was interacting with the water and really seemed to be enjoying himself. Other times, he would smile a bit and laugh and stuff after he warmed up to the idea (he starts off very serious and taking it all in so it’s hard to tell if he’s really enjoying himself or just tolerating it, though he’s not screaming so I assume that means it’s not horrible :P), but not much. This time he was splashing with his arms and legs, sticking his face in the water repeatedly (and coughing as a result a lot of the time, though not always), sticking his tongue in the water, and he was playing with some floaty foam shapes they have too. If we put him on his tummy, he would kick his legs a bit. It was a lot of fun and really cute.

I’m hoping that we can sign him up for swimming “lessons to” do with Daddy on a weekend morning and they can do that together without me. Since husband loves swimming and it now appears that FrostedBaby is really starting to enjoy it, it would be a great thing for them to do. There are lessons starting in April that run until June. I wonder if a lot of dads go to the weekend ones or if it’s mostly the moms.

He’s discovered over the last few days that he has a tongue. He’s been sticking his tongue out a little (barely past his lips) since he was just a few weeks old, but now suddenly he’s sticking it out really far. We thought he must have Daddy’s short tongue, but he must have inherited mine after all, since mine is really long. I think he keeps sticking it out because he’s rubbing it along his upper gums where at least two teeth are still coming in, and I keep wondering if I’m seeing evidence of the side ones as well, though that seems to come and go still so not positive if it’s not a trick of the light, which is what I thought about the middle ones for the first bit. His gums look bumpy on the two sides as well, as opposed to smooth. It would be kind of nice if they all came in together, rather than having several separate miserable episodes, to have it all done in one.

5 months, 3 weeks, 3 days

Nap times have not been a lot of fun lately. Sometime he goes down so easily with no problems and other times he cries and cries and cries. I used to go in and repacifier him, but that didn’t work very often and he would stop crying just long enough to realize I wasn’t there to rescue him, and then he’d start all over. I could go in and snuggle him easily to sleep, but as soon as I put him down, he’d wake up and start again. The only way he would reliably sleep is if I kept holding him, which is fine sometimes but his naptimes are also my break times and a chance to eat, get stuff done, and/or be on the computer with TWO HANDS! So as much as I didn’t want to do it, we’re doing CIO. I think. I’ve never actually read a book on it, but if I know he’s okay, I’m not going in there. And it seems to be working – he’ll go to sleep eventually. But it sucks to hear him crying, especially if he sounds really upset, and some days I feel like all I do is listen to him cry because he naps every few hours. I’m hoping it’ll get better and he won’t cry as long pretty soon. I was finding it hard to be consistent with what I was doing so I had to choose something that was either all or nothing, and since all didn’t appear to be working well – he gets excited when he sees me; I even tried the shhh-pat from a certain book and all it did was get him excited that I was standing over him touching him. I think that must be for babies whose problems are different than ours. He has no problems with self-soothing when he wants to be in bed, like at bedtime or certain naptimes, it’s just breaking him of his habit of crying hoping someone will come and rescue him.

The big thing now is how to extend his naps reliably longer than about 30 minutes. Sometimes he goes longer, but sometimes it’s shorter, but most often it’s right on the 30 minute mark that he wakes up. And he’s usually crying, which the books say means he’s still tired. But letting him cry doesn’t make him go back to sleep usually, he just gets more and more upset in a different way. I have another book that was recommended to me but I have yet to read it. I guess the good thing is that bedtime is a cinch and he’s a great sleeper at night, so it’s just nap times that are a problem.

In exactly one week he will be 6 months old. Over the past few weeks he’s started to show a lot of interest in us eating, which means he’s just about ready to start solids. He would watch us occasionally, but not too much and now it’s pretty much anytime we eat in front of him he’s staring at us intently. If he’s close enough he tries to grab things from us, including water glasses. When I went shopping yesterday I picked up some baby spoons and a sweet potato to puree and we’ll probably start next week at the latest. I’m not sure whether I’ll wait until his 6 monthiversary or if I’ll do it earlier or maybe wait a bit longer, I guess I’ll see how he seems. I think he’s ready, I’m just hesitant to start because I enjoy him having non-stinky poop (oh breastfed poop, how I love you and how I will miss you) and it will make things a bit more complicated and require more planning ahead and all. But I am excited to try it to see how he reacts and to be able to start giving him real food. I’m a bit nervous about when he really starts relying on real food for nutrition, about making sure he gets all his food groups, but that’s a while away and hopefully I’ll have my act together by then.

There was other stuff I was going to say but it’s now much later and time to go to bed so I’m going to post this.

5 months, 2 weeks, 3 days

FrostedBaby’s skills at sitting up are continuing to get better and better. Today he barely needed me at all, which was pretty neat. It’s really amazing how quickly they develop skills – there was a notable difference even since yesterday when we were playing. He can now sit and move his arms and play with his toys and look around without falling over most of the time. I have a feeling that crawling is going not to be too far behind, as he’s looking at things out of his reach and trying to figure out how to get to them. He gets frustrated when I put him on his tummy and he’s trying to coordinate his limbs to move, but can’t. He hasn’t been trying too much from a sitting position beyond leaning forward and reaching out so far. Really looking forward to all that figuring out (that is sarcasm), since with it comes a lot of whining and crying and frustration. I hope he’s able to figure it out quickly.

He was cranky yesterday. I think his teeth were bugging him, since he was drooling and chomping on everything and was kind of clingy during feeding times. Usually once he’s done he’s off and he’s talking to me and then wants to go play, but yesterday he wanted to hang out on the boob for a long time even without talking to me and he was cranky a lot when he wasn’t eating. I guess I should be glad that so far he hasn’t gone on a nursing strike since that’s a common thing for teething babies. I do not love the idea of having to pump to keep up my supply, especially since he won’t take a bottle. Though maybe he would if it were less painful on his teeth.

We’re setting up the playroom in the front area. When you walk into our house, there’s the front entranceway and then what’s supposed to be the living room/dining room together. The way we have it, our living room is off the kitchen (farther into the house) and the front room is mostly a dining room and a place for my bookshelves and books. Since our house is open concept, it makes figuring out baby gates difficult and we want to have a place that is totally babyproofed and gated off so that he can move around on his own without me having to be two steps behind him constantly. So we pushed the dining room table (which we only use when company is over, otherwise it’s a landing area for the car seat and other items) back to open up the rest of the room and we put down the foam mat there. We’re moving the bookshelves and books out (except if we’re going to use the shorter bookshelf as a toy shelf) and putting our extra couch in there for seating. And then we only need a couple of regular sized baby gates to block off that area. I was out there with a friend and her twins this morning and it seems like it’ll work out nicely. It’s also a really sunny part of the house, so I think it’ll be nice to be out there.

I went out the other night after FrostedBaby went to bed and I got to stay out the whole time! He woke up right before I left and then went right back to sleep when I went in and snuggled him, and he slept until 1 and at that point I had been home for a few hours. It was really nice to get out and have some fun with adults. It was nice to be as off duty as I ever get to be these days, which is only if he wakes up hungry. Considering I’m usually constantly on-duty even if Daddy has him, it’s a nice break.

Ha. I just went back and read my post from exactly a year ago today. I can remember writing and feeling most of that like it was yesterday. And now the way I felt unreal and unsure about taking care of a baby, I feel the same way about the idea of having two, if I were ever lucky enough to have a second. I keep dreaming about being pregnant again. The last one I had, I’d had IVF and my mom had decided to transfer 7 embryos (because your mom should always make important decisions like that for you) and I was pregnant with triplets. And then I was mad at my mom because you should never transfer more than one at a time. That was one of the crazier dreams I’ve had about that. Usually I’m in complete shock. The other week when I was sick, I was feeling exactly how I felt at 6 weeks when all the symptoms hit me at once, and I wasn’t really sure whether I was hoping I was or hoping I wasn’t. I think I’m not quite ready to actually do it all over again, though I’m sure we’d come around. I just know that the pregnancy will be a lot harder because of having to run after a baby during it, but I cannot imagine having a newborn and another one to watch at the same time. I can wrap my head around a slightly older baby and a toddler, but a newborn, with all the eating constantly and all, yikes. And during growth spurts? At least they wouldn’t be hitting them at the same time, like if you had twins.

Blah blah blah. I feel like I should have stuff to say but I keep getting distracted and then not coming up with anything. He’s been napping for the past hour and a half and I’m expecting him to wake up any minute. He hasn’t napped this well in days. I’m optimistic he’ll wake up happy for a change!

5 months, 1 week, 6 days

We put up dark curtains in FrostedBaby’s room the other day since I’m wondering if the reason he doesn’t nap well in his crib during the day is because of it being too light in there. He naps great in my room where it is dark, but obviously I’m not huge on the idea of him sleeping in my bed unattended (not a problem if I’m napping too!) since he keeps looking like he’s going to start rolling from back to tummy. He has two windows in his room and one is on the side of the house where the sun comes in most of the day, so despite the blinds we have up it’s still quite bright in there. He had one nap in there so far, the day before yesterday morning, and he slept for an hour, which is amazing since usually I put him down and he’s up in 30 minutes or so. He didn’t get his afternoon nap there since we were at the coffee place with the moms group and he slept in my arms. Yesterday we were out all day so I didn’t get a chance to try it out. I put him down after he fell asleep while eating, but he’s in there talking instead of sleeping (he’s been down for ~25 minutes) so I’m not sure he’s tired enough to nap yet. He sleeps so long at night (he’s doing a 7-hour stretch followed by a 6-hour stretch these days) that I’m not sure he’s ready for a morning nap as soon as they say he should, but he was rubbing his eyes and then fell asleep on me so I’m not sure.

Oh, he just went quiet. He’s really good at putting himself to sleep so I usually know if he’s not asleep within half an hour or so, that he won’t be going to sleep. I’m so grateful for that; there are a lot of moms in the group who have terrible times getting their babies to sleep, both day and night. Joanna’s baby is up every hour and it sounds like it’s always been that way and she can’t figure out anything that works. I don’t know what she’s tried or if she’s being consistent, but yuck. When FrostedBaby goes through periods where he cries a lot I know I enjoy him a lot less than I normally do, so I cannot imagine that being your whole baby’s existence.

We got a new stroller on Monday, I think it was. The one we were given was a good one, but really heavy and big and wouldn’t fit in my trunk. Any time I wanted to use it, I had to balance the pros and cons of having to haul that thing around versus not, plus I had to keep it in the back seat which is not the safest or most convenient thing. Since he’s bigger and almost out of the bucket seat, I decided I wanted a better one (better one for my needs, at least) since once he’s in his big boy car seat I’ll be wanting to use a stroller more for getting around with him. We went to BRU and played with a bunch of strollers that were in our price range (wow those things are expensive!) and decided on one. It was a bit more expensive than a couple we were looking at, but I felt that he is the most secure in it, plus it folds up and down really easily and maneuvers like a dream. The only thing is doesn’t have is the cup holders and tray, but I figure that the times I’ll need those are a lot less than the times I’ll need one with a really nice fold and all and there’s a huge jump in price when you go for all the features. I think there are some you can add after the fact as well, if it becomes an issue.

I tried it out at the mall yesterday and it was amazing. So much easier to get open, easier to get him in and out of than the car seat (it has a convertible 5-point to 3-point harness, so you actually attach the over the shoulder straps separately, which means no fighting to get arms through), he’s comfortable, and it is wonderful to push around – comfortable and can turn on a dime.  He seemed to like facing forward and seeing everything (I’m not nuts about the fact that it’s harder for me to see him, but it’s simple enough to peek over and I can see his feet, so I can tell if he’s relaxed or upset or whatever) and he slept in it for a bit so it must be comfortable for him.

We are back to using cloth diapers! I forget if I mentioned it since it was sort of a non-event, but we’d been using plastic for a few weeks since the cloth we had were too bulky and were restricting his movements. He couldn’t bend his legs the way he was wanting to, and couldn’t sit as well because they came up too high on him and I just wasn’t happy with them once he started trying to coordinate his movements to roll over and stuff. A friend in the moms group mentioned a certain brand of cloth diapers to another mom and was saying that she likes them better than all her other ones, so I asked her about bulkiness and she said they were less bulky than her Bumgenius ones, which were the ones I found the least bulky as well, but they are really expensive (I got 5 in the bunch I bought used for cheap, but they’re all size small and he outgrew them) and I was hoping to find some used. Anyway, so they’re sold in a place about 20 minutes north of us so I went to check them out. The lady let me try them on him (over some thin pants) and he immediately stuck his legs up in the air, which he couldn’t do with the others we had. I bought a few and we’ve been trying them out.

Here’s the best part: They only cost $10-$12 each and come with two microfibre inserts! I also bought some bamboo inserts separately, which I use in addition to the microfibre when he’s going to sleep (he seems to pee a LOT in his sleep) or if we’re going to be out a long time, but mostly I use one microfibre (so it’s minimum bulk) and it can do him fine for over 3-4 hours in a pinch. I still try to change him more frequently than that, but it’s not like the other ones we were using that if I didn’t do it religiously every two hours, it was totally soaked. They also have a great fleecy layer that keeps him feeling dry (I know a lot of diapers have those, but these are more effective somehow) and keeps his skin nice so I don’t have to be quite as paranoid about the clock.

Anyway, so I’ve been having to do the wash every night because I bought enough for a day, but now that I know for sure we like them a lot I’m going to go back and buy a few more so that I’m not having to do laundry as frequently. I’m even considering trying them at night, which I have never considered since he stopped waking up every 3 hours so I could change him a lot during the night. Not sure if I can trust it to go for 7+ hours with such a heavy wetter, but I’m willing to give it a shot. If not, we’ll just keep using plastic at night and do the cloth during the day, which is okay with me.

He’s down for his afternoon nap now (obviously a few hours later than when I started this post), although he woke up after 20 minutes and is crying now. I’m trying to wait him out because he sounds whiney in his “I’m tired and want to fall asleep” way. He keeps sounding like he’s about to fall asleep and then wakes up and cries again. Silly boy.

I’m trying to think if he’s doing anything new lately. He’s sitting up more and more steadily and for longer periods of time before he’s tired and wants to lay down. He will not stay on his tummy anymore. I’m trying to get him to stay longer by giving him toys he can play with in that position, but then he seems to get frustrated and rolls over. I think he’ll probably start crawling from a sitting position to get a toy that’s out of his reach or to go after the cat or something, rather than doing it from being on his tummy. He loves his rainbow rings toy and can now rather dexterously (?) take them all off the post and throw them on the floor, which is an improvement over when he first got them. If he’s sitting away from his favourite musical toy and you turn it on, he looks over in amazement, like he’s trying to figure out why it’s singing.

While grocery shopping I noticed he has another tooth coming in. But it’s not an upper one like I was expecting, it’s at least one on the bottom, right next to the two that have come in. I couldn’t tell for sure if there was one on either side, but there is definitely one coming in on the (his) right side. All that time he was acting like he was teething and then he hasn’t for a while, and then poof, there’s a tooth. Strange child. And naturally he doesn’t he the two uppers like is typical, he has to do something different. I have no clue where he could have gotten that from. O:)

He is so much fun lately. He’s so cheerful and he laughs all the time. And he’s laughing for real now with those awesome baby belly laughs and he’s so interactive and he’s just SO. CUTE. He breaks out in huge grins the seconds he sees me, he shrieks with excitement, he laughs, he screeches.  He’ll often be playing in front of me with me behind him to make sure he doesn’t fall over and he’ll turn and look over his shoulder at me and give me this really big grin. Can’t take any more cute over here, we are all full up!