I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

18 weeks 5 days

I started a post last week sometime, didn’t finish it, then came back to finish it the other day and then the whole thing got lost. And then I was mad for a bit. So I’ll try to remember what all I was talking about since it’s been a while since I posted. I’ll do it in point form.

– We went swimming with FrostedBaby for the first time two weeks ago. My husband was off work so we decided to go finally since he wanted to be there for the first time going. We went to a pool that specifically said it had a tot pool, since we figured at least then even if it wasn’t a specific “parent and baby” time, we wouldn’t be competing for pool space with other older kids who might be splashy and loud. He seemed to enjoy it – he was quiet and serious at first, taking it all in, but he didn’t cry (until he got hungry) and then was smiling and splashing and talking and stuff. Then he got hungry and I went to feed him and he fell dead asleep. We went again with my moms’ group two days later to a different pool and he warmed up faster to it and enjoyed himself. He looks so adorable in his swimming trunks. They have these boat things that the baby can sit in and float around in and he likes that too, and then you don’t have to hold on to them all the time. I was really impressed with both facilities – they have great big family change rooms that were really clean and it’s really nice to have specific shallow pools apart from the deeper ones. I’m looking forward to going again. My moms group meets on Mondays to go, so hopefully we’ll be able to join them regularly. And my mom wants to go with us too, so now that my husband has been involved I can go whenever.

– We had a Date Night! We decided to do it in celebration of our 15th dating anniversary (how is it possible that it’s been that long? two more years and we’ll have been together half my life. I’ve already known him half my life… crazy!). Because last time I went out FrostedBaby refused the bottle, we decided that we would get him to bed (since that’s now easy with the routine) and then go out so that my parents wouldn’t have any trouble. We went in the afternoon and visited with them and then got him to bed perfectly on time (and he went down easily, despite not being at home and not being in his crib) and then went to The Keg for dinner. Because he was asleep and fed and everything, I wasn’t at all worried about him since even if he woke up he wouldn’t be hungry and my dad is really good with him, plus we were just a short way away. We had a good time and I got to drink wine (I don’t drink a whole lot since you’re supposed to wait two hours after a drink to feed and I never get that long until he goes to bed and then half the time I’m not up very long after) and he didn’t wake up the whole time we were gone. Good boy!

– Christmas was good, although tiring. Both FrostedBaby and my husband came down with a cold starting on Christmas Eve. Between his 4 month shots, teething, and being sick, FrostedBaby was remarkably not too cranky, but was very sleepy and clingy. He was pretty cheerful in the morning but had had enough by the evening and we put him to bed early. My husband had to do all the cooking by himself, which is not unusual since he tends to do the big cooking like that since he likes turkey a lot more than I do, but I felt bad because I was holding the baby the whole time because he wouldn’t go to anyone else. It was nice to see my whole family all together since it’s hard to have everyone over at the same time because everyone works different hours and are really busy.

– I managed to stay well until today, when I started getting a sore throat and I’m feeling snotty and stuff. I’m missing a night out with my moms group because of it, which is disappointing, although there’s freezing rain the forecast for the night so I’m kind of glad in some ways. It’s not like I can decide not to come home if the weather gets really bad. Well, I suppose I could, but it’s a lot tougher to do that without thinking about it than it was before. Or if I knew for sure FrostedBaby would eat from the bottle.

– As mentioned above, FrostedBaby is/was teething. He’d been more drooly but I thought it was an age thing (like when their saliva glands start working) since it wasn’t as much as I’ve seen other kids drool, and he was chewing on his hands and other things more than before, but I thought that was because he was working on using his hands and putting things in his mouth. Then when I was bathing him, I saw two white bumps on his lower gums. I couldn’t tell for sure what they were, but I thought they might be teeth. Then a few days later, we could see the lines of the tops of them, and then by the end of that week they’d broken through the gums. For the record, he turned four months as they were breaking through. They’re “supposed” to get one tooth at around 6 months, then the second not too long after. So he’s a bit early on that. I have very mixed feelings about this, mostly because of breastfeeding. I was really hoping he would be a late teether since I really want to breastfeed him as long as possible and definitely up to a year since after then you can give them regular milk and it’s not as expensive as formula. So far he hasn’t bitten me, I don’t think, but with the shield I’m not sure if I would know for sure. There have been a few times when I think he’s rubbed his teeth on the shield, but I’m not sure if it was on purpose or not.

– He had his 4 month checkup last week. He’s 15 pounds, 3 ounces and 66cm long, both of which are right on the average curve. According to an online chart thingy, he’s now in the 75th-90th percentile for height and 25-50th for weight, which is a complete reversal from earlier, even though on the doctor’s charts he was following the curve. Either way, I’m not concerned. I’ve just cleared his drawer of most of this 3 month onesies because they were starting to be too small and look funny on him. He fits into the 3-6 month stuff and some of the smaller 6 month stuff. I had to go into the huge bin of clothes to pull out a bunch of the stuff in there and reorganized things by size in bags so it’ll be easier at the next size change. While I hate having to put his old clothes away, especially my favourites, I love seeing him in new clothes. Everything I put on him is so cute and especially when it’s something new.

– Sleeping is going so-so these days. He stopped napping during the day a few weeks ago, I have no idea why. He’s all sleepy and I get him relaxed and the second I put him down he wakes up and either he cries or he talks and sings and carries on and won’t sleep. I leave him if he’s happy and just talking and singing since at least I get a break, but one time I left him for over an hour and he never went to sleep. And when he cries, I don’t let him continue. If it’s his tired-and-about-to-fall-asleep type cry it’s okay, but if it gets into a certain register I won’t leave him. And then by the evening he’s so exhausted that he can’t get to sleep easily. The other day we put him to bed at 6:30 because he was so exhausted so early. And it’s not like he’s sleeping all night – he’s usually up every 4 hours on average. Sometimes it’s a 3 and sometimes it’s 5 or even 6 occasionally, but it’s usually around 4. I don’t mind the nights if he’s napping during the day, but the combination of not sleeping during the day (unless I’m holding him) and then being up 2-3 times at night is exhausting. Sometimes I dream that I’m still feeding him and I’m surprised when I wake up in bed and I wonder how I got there and if I put him back in his crib or what. Luckily he’s still up only about half an hour and goes down pretty easily, so I can’t complain about that.

That’s all for now. I’m getting tired and feeling not-well so I’m heading off to bed to hopefully sleep and pray he stays asleep for another few hours at least.

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