I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

10 weeks 6 days

I swear we’re having the 3 month growth spurt a little bit early. He’s still sleeping really well at night (10.5 hours last night! I was in and out of sleep for like three hours waiting for him to wake up to relieve the pressure in my boobs, I kept expecting him to wake up so I didn’t want to bother with pumping), but he’s been cranky and his sleeping is sporadic during the day – sometimes he barely sleeps at all, sometimes he sleeps a lot, sometimes it’s a more typical pattern for him. He’s been eating a lot too, which is the big clue. It seems like he finishes eating and he’s fine for 10 minutes and he wants to eat again. It’s driving me crazy because he’ll eat and eat and then he’ll finish and then he wants more in just a few minutes later. I know that you can never really be empty unless you have supply issues, but I feel like I’m totally empty (except when I’m so full it’s painful from overnight). He’s still getting lots and I can feel the other side let down even if I’ve just finished feeding him on that side. A happy medium would be nice!

The worst part is that I’m hungry all the time too and can’t seem to get a chance to keep myself fed properly. I’m not just nibbly either – I feel like I could eat several full meals a day.

Part of his crankiness is being tired but… I’m not even sure what the issue is. He can’t turn his brain off to sleep? He’s just overwhelmed by stuff? He needs some help to calm down? In any case, for a few days early last week he would go straight to screaming at the drop of a hat. At first it frustrated me because I tried a whole bunch of things and nothing worked. Then I realized that he was just tired and I found that snuggling him and just waiting it out worked a lot better. I’ve found that if I hold him in a cradle position like I’m breastfeeding him, he calms down almost immediately and goes to sleep pretty quickly or at least stops his screaming. The only problem with finding that perfect thing that stops the screaming is that you’re then afraid to put him down, and you’re afraid that that perfect thing is going to change and he’s going to start again.

At the very least, we’re nearing the 3 month mark, which is when a lot of the evening crankies are supposed to clear up. It’s not that he’s a bad baby or is even half as bad as many kids, he’s not at all… it’s just that having your happy easy-going baby turn into cranky fussy baby and only want to be walked around and all, right when you’re tired and ready for a break after a day of entertaining him makes you start to dread evenings after a while. Some are better than others, and interestingly enough he’s worse when my husband is around. I don’t know why. He likes Daddy and is happy with Daddy, but when Daddy’s away there are many less fussy cranky evenings. I’m not sure what would make the difference.

I’m trying to recall if he’s doing anything new over the past week. He started drooling and blowing bubbles a bit recently. He also seems to be trying to move his hands towards things, maybe to grab them, but he’s not very good at it and usually just ends up hitting them. I can’t decide if it’s totally on purpose or not, but usually stuff near his face he takes a swipe at. We got a Bumbo from our friend who’s given us a bunch of stuff (she was using it for her youngest, who is now more interested in climbing out of it than sitting in it) last night and he seems to like sitting in it for short periods of time. We’ve only tried it a few times, but it at least seems to be a bit of a novelty. We’re getting to the point where he gets bored, but can’t really do too much yet since he doesn’t have control of his hands or anything, so I’m finding it hard to find stuff to entertain him around here. Walking and looking at the same stuff gets boring really fast 😛 During the day it’s not so bad because we can get out and he even loves grocery shopping because he likes looking at all the stuff on the shelves, but in the evenings when he’s the fussiest it’s harder.

I feel like I have other stuff to say but I’m not coming up with anything interesting.



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