I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

I cannot believe how fast time is going. Although it’s that combination of can’t believe it’s been so fast, and can’t believe it’s only been two months. I can’t remember what my life was like before him. I feel complete for the first time in a really long time, probably since we started wanting to have a baby and felt the absence, though we only started to feel really desperate about it all a while after that.

The development email that I get emailed to me said that at two months he might finally start to smile and interact with us. Um. He’s been doing that since he was 10 days old. Friends of ours were saying that their baby barely opened his eyes for the first 3 months, so it’s really no wonder why people keep commenting on how alert FrostedBaby is. Obviously I have a genius on my hands.

He’s starting to open and close his hands, usually randomly, which I’m guessing is a precursor to being able to reach for things and grab them properly. His hands are mostly closed in fists except occasionally when he stretches them out but that doesn’talways seem voluntary. If I hold my hand out to him and say, “give me five!”, he puts his fist against my palm, which is pretty cute. I’m not positive if he’s doing it on purpose or if he just always happens to wiggle in that direction when I do it, but he does it every time.

I weighed him on our bathroom scale and it says he’s 12.5 pounds, which is probably mostly accuate considering he was 11 pounds at our last MW appointment over 2 weeks ago. He’s moved up a size in diapers (mostly because I bought the big box and the size he was wearing were somewhat small and we’re hoping to go back to cloth again now that his rash has cleared up and I have some cloth-friendly rash cream coming as well as some inserts that I’m hoping will help with the wetness factor, which I think is the issue) and the stack of clothes that no longer fit him is growing. He’s almost too heavy for the changing table part of our pack n play, which is very sad because we really like having that. I’m thinking we’ll grab a second changing pad and use it on the table until he starts being too mobile for that, then at least he can be comfy if we change him on the floor where it’s safer. I know a lot of people change their babies on the couch or wherever they happen to be, but I really like having a specific place for that where we can have the diapers and all nearby, plus then if he pees or something I don’t have to worry about him getting the couch. It deals with enough body fluids (mostly milk, either fresh or spit up) that I don’t need that soaking it too.

He’s very cheerful most of the time he’s awake, unless he’s hungry or his tummy is bothering him or something. The other night he started screaming (like the hysterical worst kind of screaming there is, any parent of a newborn knows what I’m talking about – it’s the kind we never hear from him unless we’re in the car and can’t tend to him within a few minutes, he usually starts off slow and then ramps up) and no matter what I tried, he would not stop. I tried feeding him, burping him, stripping him in case he was hot, checking the diaper I just changed in case I somehow tucked him into the elastic, giving him his pacifier, giving him my finger (haha, that sounds like I flipped him off), walking him around, jiggling him, putting him in his swing, laying him down, sitting him up, etc etc etc and I tried almost everything several times. I was to the point of calling my parents or going to the drug store for Tylenol (I had a cold, so thought maybe he was starting to come down with it and had a headache) when he finally stopped screaming enough to latch on and eat and then he ate like he’d never eaten before and fell asleep and slept for 6 hours. That’s great that that’s all it was…. but WHY DIDN’T YOU EAT THE FIRST 239879875 TIMES I OFFERED IT TO YOU? It would have saved both of us a lot of stress. I’m glad he doesn’t appear to have gotten my cold, although he slept a lot while I was sick so I wonder if he was fighting it. Or perhaps my antibodies stimulated his immune system and made him sleepy? Or maybe he’s growing so that I’ll have to put more of his clothes in the storage bin.

I think his hair might be getting lighter. He was born with dark brown hair, but it looks like the stuff under it that’s growing in new is much lighter. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s exposed to light and sun and so it lighter because of that. Both my husband and I were blonde-ish and curly when we were babies, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he did that too. So far no curls except occasionally if his hair is wet it looks like there’s a bit of a curl to it, but it also hasn’t grown all that much since he was born, I don’t think. He did get a bald spot all along his head (sides and back) from where he was sleeping on it, but that’s mostly grown back. It’s not hugely lighter than the rest of it, so it’s hard to tell what’s happening.

Developmentally he’s continued to be more interactive, though there hasn’t been any huge jumps since the one where he went from making hardly any noise to talking up a storm. He’s making more and more noises like he’s trying to actually talk, and sometimes it sounds like he’s actually saying things, which is usually funny. My husband was away on business this week and we did a video chat and I put FrostedBaby on and he was talking to him. My husband asked him what we bought at the grocery store and I swear FrostedBaby said, “ummm…” before launching into a bunch of chattering. Yes, I caught it on video.

Fussy moments aside, he’s such an awesome little guy and he’s generally really cheerful or at least content. Even his fussy moments are usually because of something (his tummy is upset, or being tired, or whatever) and he’s generally still easily distracted from his crankiness. My husband was away for a couple of days last week and this week and aside from that one night, it’s gone quite smoothly, even when I was sick. This is good because he’s also away a few days this coming week and the week after. I find the evenings the hardest, as I anticipated, but it’s not because he’s been bad (again, except for The Screaming Night), it’s just that I’m tired and haven’t had a break, but it’s not awful.

He’s started sleeping for 6 hours at night the last few nights, which has been really nice, especially when I was sick. My boobs get rather full and sore by the time he wakes up, but then he’s also quite hungry and generally does a good job of emptying them quickly. And then he’s all full and falls asleep. I certainly cannot complain about his sleeping, and he’s almost always really easy to get back to sleep.

This Friday is the night I’m having dinner out. My husband is around so I can leave the baby with him, but I’m still nervous about it. The big thing is that it’s about an hour away from here, so if they stay at home I’m that far away if I’m needed. I don’t think I will be, at least not that badly, since I have lots of frozen milk and I’ll probably pump some fresh in the few days before, but even after he eats from a bottle he often wants to spend some time on the boob. I like that, but at the same time it’s more stressful if I’m not going to be around. I’m also a bit afraid he’s going to start preferring the bottle (which is the main reason I like that still wanting to be with me) if he eats from it often enough. The other thing is that if they stay here, I’ll be leaving much earlier than if we all go to my parents’, which is closer to where I’m going, and I can feed him before I leave and then go. I’d want to avoid rush hour, and maybe I’ll go hang out with my parents without the baby along, which does sound nice… if I can stop the heart palpitations.

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Comments on: "8 weeks 6 days (or two months and a day)" (4)

  1. Silverdollar said:

    It sounds like he is settling in well.

  2. Wow! What a stressful night that must have been. Thank goodness he calmed down and fed. Enjoy your evening out. Even mommys need to take a break. Plus it’ll be a great time for your husband to bond with his little boy. 🙂 Good to hear that you’re getting some sleep.

  3. It’s hard to imagine outgrowing cloths in 2 months. Amazing.

  4. Kanis – I know I need a break and I’ll enjoy it… but at the same time it’s really stressful. I haven’t been away from him for longer than 15 minutes since he was born. And sometimes he just wants me and only me and it worries me that he might want me and I won’t be there. 😦 But my husband says he’s looking forward to it. He rarely gets to feed him, so he really likes it when he can.

    Evelyn – It’s incredible. Clothes that were huge on him now fit him perfectly and I’m expecting any day to put them on and they’ll be too small. My parents commented that on Thursday he looked different than when they saw him on Sunday. My husband says the same thing when he comes home from being away on a trip for a few days. Crazy. It’s also amazing to see how fast they grow inside you. It seems impossibly fast.

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