I’m going back to the weeks and days counting for my subjects because I can’t keep track of individual days anymore.
FrostedBaby has been sleeping better lately, though he’s sometimes sleeping for 5-6 hours and other times he’s up every three hours. I’m not sure if there’s a pattern for when he sleeps for longer, so I can’t really create conditions so he’ll do it every time. I would like to so I know how much to expect, but as they say, the only predictable thing with babies is they’re unpredictable. Guess I should be glad he sleeps as well as he does, especially since he goes back to sleep pretty easily most of the time. In fact, lately I’ve only been up for half an hour for most of the feedings. I don’t really mind getting up with him when he goes right back down again, especially since I’m usually awake before him anyway. Now I have company during my lack of sleep!
I was added to a Mommy and Me group on FB by a girl I know from the breastfeeding support group on FB who I met in real life at the BF support group here in Whitby and have been chatting with a fair bit. I decided to go to the meetup of a bunch of people at this Cafe/Playplace today in order to meet some people and get out a bit more. I met up with the girl I know as well and that was really nice since we saw each other briefly at the support group but didn’t really get to talk and we’ve been chatting a bit online, but haven’t spent any real-life time together yet. Don’t think we’ll become super great friends, but I can see spending time together frequently, especially since her son is just two days younger than FrostedBaby is. She’s a bit odd, in different ways than I am, which I kind of like. It was nice hanging out with people and just chatting about whatever comes up and all. I would definitely go again. Not sure I click super well with anyone, but it was also only the first time so who knows. It often takes me a while to really get a sense of other people. In any case, I’m glad I got out and the place is really neat and I had a good time – I was there for three and a half hours, and an hour past when my friend had to go. FrostedBaby woke up and ate and then I laid him on the ground with the other babies and he was smiling and laughing and being really cute.
The girl, J, and I are planning on meeting up at the support group this Thursday as well, and we’ve discussed getting together for movies or walks or whatever, which should be nice, especially since my husband is travelling starting tomorrow and is basically gone most days for the next four weeks. Not too thrilled with that, since it was supposed to be just the odd trip here and there and he was supposed to be reducing those, but I guess we’ll see how it goes. I think it’ll be a bit easier if I have plans to go out and meet people, although I guess I’ll have the evenings to myself, which is the part I’m most worried about since he tends to be higher maintenance (in a cranky way) still, though it’s been easier the last few days. It’s just really nice to have someone to pass him off to if he’s really driving me nuts or to add a different touch if he won’t settle with me.
I do have to be grateful for how easy a baby he is… J’s baby cries anytime she tries to put him down. He won’t sleep on his own, she has to hold him all day, etc. She says she’s basically stuck on the couch all day because of that (guess she doesn’t have a Snugli or other carrier, or maybe he doesn’t like it) combined with the fact that they only have one car, which her husband takes to work.
Thanksgiving was good, with minimal drama. Not much to report there. Rob’s parents both held him, which is the first time for his dad. They are so much more nervous and unsure of themselves than I expected, so I’m glad to see them warming up. I imagine they’ll be more hands on once he’s a bit older and they’re not so afraid of… whatever they’re afraid of.
I forgot to mention I had a MW appointment last week Wednesday, which was his 6 week checkup and our final appointment there. His next one will be at 8 weeks (two months) and with our family doctor. Anyway… he weighed 11 pounds even and he’s 50cm long, which is 2cm longer than when he was born, and his head circumference is 40cm, which is 4cm bigger. Am I glad he did that growing outside of me! 😉 All the tests they do were perfect and he was his charming self, smiling at her and being really cute. I don’t know why I keep saying he’s being really cute, since he’s always cute. I have to tell him that or comment to Rob to that effect so many times a day, as if it’s the first time I’ve said it. But it’s true!
Tomorrow I’m going to my chiro in the morning and then we have no real plans for the rest of the day. Husband’s off on his trip early on so it’ll be our first full day totally alone. Mostly I’m worried about how I’m going to work eating into the day, but hopefully I’ll manage. It’s not so bad during the day, but the evenings he’s less sleepy and more fussy and eats at inopportune times, like the second I try to eat something. I guess we’ll muddle through, whether it’s ideal or not.
I am really tired of a certain friend of mine playing the mommy martyr and constantly reminding everyone how much harder she has it than anyone else because she has a 3 year old, twin 2 year olds and a 6ish month old. Yes, that’s difficult…. but she’s been singing the “at least you’re not me, I have it so hard!” card ever since the first one was born. And none of her babies have been difficult, so it’s not that. Every conversation goes back to how hard it is to have so many kids and how no one understands and how easy everyone else has it. I’ve never complained about FrostedBaby, because he’s an easy baby most of the time and even when he’s being difficult, hey, at least I have him to be frustrated at! Not that I love every minute, but still. And she acts like every time I say anything, I’m complaining about how hard it is (which I’m not — I know he’s a really good baby) and has to remind me, AS IF I COULD EVER FORGET WITH YOU REMINDING ME EVERY TWO SECONDS, how hard she has it. And even if I were complaining, please don’t trivialize my feelings. And let’s not even start about her martyring when we weren’t sure if we would ever have kids. She was in the same boat once upon a time, so it’s not like I can say she doesn’t really get it.
She told us numerous times that after he was born, no one would want to hang out with us anymore because that’s what happened with them. Then when I said we’re as busy and popular as ever, she says, “oh, that only happens when you go from one to three, then no one wants to see you and you won’t be able to go places anymore”. Okay, you used one as the excuse to make everyone else do the driving, how hard it was to leave the house, and maybe people just don’t want to hang out with *you*, it has nothing to do with your kids. I’m sure everyone else loves hearing all about how hard you have it, meanwhile you’re on Facebook all day, you’re always doing stuff like making cakes that take 48 hours to create (and then complaining about how late you have to stay up to do it and how tired you are), etc etc.
I’ve always found our visits tiring and try to put as much time between them as I can get away with, but they’re especially bad now. They’re farther away, we have to do all the driving, I’m tired and less patient because of using all my energy and patience for my baby, etc. If she weren’t married to Rob’s oldest friend, who I do like a lot and do enjoy seeing, I would probably have let this friendship lapse a long time ago. Actually, I doubt we would have been friends in the first place.