I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

Archive for August, 2011

10 days old

This is a cut and paste from my other journal since I don’t have a lot of time to type out stuff specifically for here. Lots to say, not a whole lot of time to say it, especially without interruption.

We did our newborn photos today, and I can’t wait to see them. They looked fabulous on the screen of her camera, the ones that I saw.

FrostedBaby, at least so far, seems like a really easy-going baby. He doesn’t cry very much (in part due to the fact that we try to get to him to feed before he starts crying, trying to read the early hungry signs rather than waiting until he’s upset), and when he does he gets over it pretty quickly. I realize we’re coming up on those difficult weeks where lots of babies start crying for no reason and can’t be consoled, so maybe next time I update I’ll be singing a different tune. In any case, we’ve been lucky so far – a friend of mine’s baby cried from day one and hasn’t stopped.

I’m not actually saying this part because I’m going to jinx it, but he follows the same patterns he did in utero – awake in the late afternoon and evening, some activity in the late morning, and quiet most of the night. Our pattern (so far, and I’m expecting him to change the rules any day and I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts) tends to be that he takes his long sleep from 6am or so to about 10 or 11, he eats and is awake a bit, then sleeps in the early afternoon (I usually take a nap then too) until 4:30 or so when he’ll go into a pattern of eat, sleep, and being a little bit awake through to about 7:30 or so, then he’ll cluster feed for a few hours (I’m not sure if this is the strict definition of what cluster feeding is, but compared to the rest of the time, it feels like it), where he’ll eat, then take a really short nap, then eat again, then nap, etc. and he gets more and more sleepy after each feeding, and then he’ll crash around 11 or so. Then we go to bed and he doesn’t wake up until 2 or so (or I wake him up, now that he will wake up and eat – usually I’m awake and waiting for him, which means I get less sleep, so if I wake him up I end up getting more), we’ll get up for about an hour (he eats, I take off his sleeper to wake him up, he eats again, I change his diaper, he eats from the other side, I put his sleeper back on, he eats again, we go back to bed), and repeat that at 5 or 6, then he goes down for the long sleep and sleeps so long I start wondering if he’s okay.

The part I find the most difficult is the cluster feeding because I’m getting tired and his naps are so short they don’t really allow me to do too much before he wants back on. It’s not as bad as I found it the first few evenings like that because we’re better at latching on properly. Before it felt like a constant struggle to get a good latch and then he’d only stay on for a few minutes. It feels like it would be so much better if he would just stay on for longer and not the constant on-off. I also find that although I’m less sensitive, some days I’m still more sore than others.

I was worried about his short feeds at first (his longest at one stretch is maybe 15-20 minutes, most are about 10 and it’s like clockwork, as soon as it’s been 10 mins he pops off) but I think he’s just really efficient. And I have a majorly hyperactive letdown in one boob, so it comes out so fast on that one that he sometimes chokes. I pumped this afternoon to relieve the pressure since he was sleeping and my boobs were killing me and I got an ounce out in just a few minutes (and that side was squirting like crazy, not just drops coming out, it was literally spraying), so now I think it’s just that his tummy is so small and my boobs and/or his sucking are quite efficient so he just gets full.

(and yes, I know pumping will keep the supply too high — I only do it when I’m desperate to relieve the pressure and I only pump until they feel a bit less painful. And I’ve only done it once or twice. We’re freezing it so that later on I can go out without worrying about him not being able to eat, or if I end up being longer than expected, he can get fed without me).

I kind of feel bad that I have such an overabundance of milk so far, while others can’t seem to produce any. I wish I could donate it somewhere or something, though that would just encourage the supply and I really look forward to being less engorged and leaky. I’m washing my bras every day because I’m leaking through at least once, particularly on the hyper side, which will soak through when I’m anticipating a feeding 😛

Going out anywhere is dangerous if there are babies crying. Good times!

I’ve been feeling a lot better physically, but I think that’s encouraging me to overdo it since my bleeding got heavier again so I have to try to take it more easy, especially in regards to the stairs. I still get tired quickly, but it’s not nearly as bad. I think my stitches are healing, since they’re itchy occasionally. I’m feeling a lot less squeamish about them and I feel like the swelling has gone down and I’m feeling a bit more normal down there, which is really nice. I look forward to feeling 100% again.

Still using the nipple shield. I saw the public health nurse on Monday and she was a lot less “you’re ruining his life!” about that than I expected, which was good since if she was I wouldn’t go back. I understand that it’s not ideal, but it’s gotten us this far and I could not have continued with the way I was feeling before. Even with it there are times when I want to scream, and it makes things a lot better. Anyway, he’d gained another 3 ounces from when he was measured at our GP’s on Friday, so he has/had just a few ounces to reach his birth weight. Whatever their “they should gain between this and this per day” numbers were, he was gaining more than that, and he’s making tons of diapers, so obviously things are okay. She just wants to work on getting rid of the shield, which I’m okay with since it would be a lot more convenient not to have to use it, but I’m also hesitant because it does help with the sensitivity which is still an issue sometimes (like tonight!). He is definitely used to the shield and makes faces and pushes off when I try without it, but I’ll keep up with it. In any case, this nurse said that in some cases people can’t wean them off but that’s not the end of the world as long as it’s not interfering with your supply (and mine is obviously quite good), so no major pressure there, which makes me feel better. I’m supposed to go back next week Tuesday for a follow-up with her.

So far I’m doing okay with the hormonal stuff, much better than I expected. I’ve had some weepy moments, where I’m not sad or upset or anything, I just need to cry. I can deal with that – it’s the major depression and feeling that we’ve ruined our lives type of stuff I was really afraid of. I think the main thing I find difficult from time to time is thinking that if anything ever happened to him, I’m not sure I could go on. And that makes me feel completely vulnerable and scared when I can’t get it out of my head. I was reading a book and in it a baby fell off the change table and hit her head and I could totally imagine how bad I would feel, especially if I thought he was seriously hurt. I now know what people mean when they say they feel differently about news about children being hurt and that sort of thing after they have kids. Wow, it’s so different. I could understand it before, but I didn’t really fully understand (and probably you can’t unless you have one, it’s just one of those things).

I can already see changes in him. His face is less squishy and newborn, and he’s starting to look more like a baby. He’s so adorable. I’m sure all babies do it (and in fact I’ve seen it), but he makes all these great facial expressions. He often makes a big grin right after he’s finished eating. His neck is still floppy, but we can already feel that it’s getting stronger, which I’m glad about since they feel a lot less fragile once they can do that. He loves being snuggled up on my shoulder and I swear he moves his head so I’ll kiss it. I know he probably isn’t that smart yet, but he was waving his head around and then when I kissed him, he held it still and looked at me. Since yesterday he’s been more alert without needing to eat (before it was if he was awake, he was looking for food and if he wasn’t, he was asleep) and is content to hang out and wave his arms and legs around. He sometimes fusses just because he wants to be held, which is nice because then Rob can do that and it’s not me all the time. Going to have to get my sling out so I can hold him but still have hands free, assuming he likes that. I love holding him and snuggling him, but it means there’s very little else I can do.

Speaking of things I can do – now that I’m better at the feeding and all, I can read during (rather than before, needing both hands and not being able to do anything at the same time), and now that my Kobo has been returned to me that’s even easier. Although naturally I’m reading a book that isn’t available in eBook yet, so I’m working on that now. It’s just a small paperback though so it’s easier to hold in one hand, unlike the hardcover I just finished.

I don’t miss being pregnant at all, which surprises me. It’s like I did it, it was great, but now I’m moving onto other things. Maybe if he gets really fussy over the next few weeks I’ll change my mind, but right now I’m happy to be sleeping on my back (I’m making up for lost time too :P), being able to bend over, pick things up off the floor, see my feet, not have feet constantly in my ribs, being able to eat chicken and garlic again (they taste NOTHING like they did when I was pregnant, it’s so strange), only having to pee when I actually have to pee, being able to sleep longer than an hour, etc etc etc. I’m happy to have my body back.

Speaking of which, I’m down ~20 pounds from my highest weight and am within 10 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight. My pre-preg jeans almost fit (they fit, they’re just a bit snug like I’m carrying around a few extra pounds, but not like my hips have expanded or undergone a major life change). I can’t get over how skinny I look, and I don’t think I actually do… it’s just that my boobs are the most stick outy part of me again 😛

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he’s here!

This is a cut and paste from what I posted online a few days ago, I have more to say now but need to eat lunch before the MW comes by and it’s time to feed again and all that. Seems like I do nothing but sit around, yet the time flies by and I have no idea where it goes.

FrostedBaby was born on Sunday, August 21st at 12:14pm, weighing 7 pounds, 0.9 ounces. I forget the other dimensions, but apparently he’s long. It’s not my official due date with my MW, but it is the due date given from our ultrasound and the one my ticker was based on. Definitely takes after me in the promptness department!

I woke up at 3am with a very strong contraction, got up to pee after it and my water broke over the toilet (go me! And thank goodness, because I had a lot of blood mixed in – MW said it was okay as long as I wasn’t bleeding and soaking a pad really fast. I had no idea that there could be so much blood involved, so anyone reading this who hasn’t given birth there you go  ). I phoned the MW because of the blood, she said to go back to sleep and call her when things were progressing. Well, we ended up phoning an hour later because I was very most definitely in active labour – contractions 2 minutes apart lasting 1 minute for the hour, quite consistently, and getting stronger. She came out to the house, checked me and I was dilated to 6cm and we were debating doing a home birth because it was either go to the hospital right then, or risk having him on the way. I was dreading the idea of contractioning in the car, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing it at home in case something happened. Got to the hospital, I was at 7cm, then an hour later I was at 9cm, then there was a very tiny bit of cervix still hanging in there for a while, which was really frustrating because I was DYING to push and they kept telling me not to. That was definitely the worst part of all of it.

Finally got to 10cm and was allowed to push THANK GOODNESS. Ended up pushing for 2.5 or 3 hours and he was happy up until then, despite his head trying to come out on an angle (they were trying to adjust him but it wasn’t working) but then his heart rate started dropping after every contraction so they decided to consult with the OB on duty, which turned out to be the one who did my laparoscopy last year (and who I really liked). They decided to help things along with the vacuum, so I got some local anesthetic and an episiotomy and then two contractions later he was born.

I ended up with exactly the birth I wanted – no drugs, no c-section – so I’m really happy with that. If this is my one kick at the can, I can be happy with the way it went. I did use nitrous oxide during some of the “not allowed to push” stuff (I was okay with that since it doesn’t affect the baby at all), but most of my “pain relief” was natural (heat packs, the shower, back rubs, different positions, etc). They also did a local anesthetic (I keep forgetting what they call it…. something that starts with a p that’s not perineum, block. Pudendal?) for the episiotomy. Not thrilled to end up with stitches, but since I got pretty much everything else I wanted that was super important, I can’t complain too much. I didn’t get to hold him right away and they didn’t wait to clamp the cord since they needed to check on him, but that’s okay.

He is so cute and perfect and amazing. I can’t believe he’s finally here and he’s ours.

BFing is…. not happening right now because he doesn’t seem to be very interested. He’s pooped twice for sure (maybe three times, judging from the sounds his butt is making), so maybe he needs to empty all that out before he’ll be interested. MW is coming tomorrow morning and has said the first 24 hours are okay if he doesn’t really have any interest in eating since he’s been nourished through me up until then. I’m going to keep offering it, but so far nothing.

Update from today: BFing is going better, especially with the introduction of nipple shields to help protect my poor sensitive sore nipples – I’ve heard they can reduce your supply, which is a concern… but if it weren’t for them, it would just not be happening, it was that painful even with a proper latch (deemed by the MW). The hardest part is the middle of the night feedings, as well as just trying to figure out whether I should be waking him up and feeding him or take advantage of the longer time in between before he decides that he’d rather eat than sleep after all and I’m up a lot more. Biggest issue is I’m having trouble sleeping still, so when he wakes up at 1:30am, I’m frustrated from that, I’m more on my own because my husband is sleeping (he gets up early, usually after the 6am-ish feeding (times are approximate) and takes him downstairs so I can get some sleep which usually goes better because I know he’s being looked after and husband isn’t snoring in the room with me), and he tends to fall asleep really quickly and won’t seem interested in the other side… right up until I’ve got him settled in the room and gone pee and washed up and am about to go to bed myself and then he decides he actually did want that other boob. It takes a lot of fiddling around to get things ready (pillow in place and him in the right position and my body parts coordinated with his body parts and all, plus he doesn’t like to open his mouth really wide so getting in there fast enough when he does to get a proper latch, etc., so having to do all that right after I just got everything out of position is frustrating. Plus it’s the middle of the night and everything seems worse then, regardless of anything else). But it’s getting better and as long as my milk gets established, I think we’ll succeed. I really enjoy the closeness of it and I could be dreading doing it all and the second he gets on (and it seems to be getting less painful, knock on wood) I’m so happy to do it regardless of the discomfort. Stubbornness is definitely a positive attribute in this case, which I have in spades.

It’s also easy to get upset about particular things, since it’s hard to remember he’s only been here 4 days and he’s only been interested in eating for the past two. It feels like it’s been forever (not in a bad way, more like he’s always been here) and I just have to keep reminding myself that he’s peeing and pooping like a champ so that’s the big important thing right now, the rest will follow. For all those taking notes: Definitely make sure you keep records of all the feedings, diapers, etc. It all blurs together really fast. And it’s easy to forget what you’ve done. I had a meltdown on the second night because he still seemed hungry but I couldn’t latch him properly and oh my god I was going to starve him and I felt so bad that we had to give him a tiny bit of formula (on the advice of the MW) to make sure that he was staying hydrated and had enough energy to feed (literally a tiny bit in a dropper, so not a huge deal) and it was the end of the world… until I opened up my phone and luckily I’d tracked that I’d already fed him on one boob for 20 minutes (a long time when it’s colostrum and his stomach is the size of a cherry) so chances are he wouldn’t actually be starving. And then my husband came and took him so I could sleep and was going to give him a bit more formula if he was still interested after getting downstairs…. and he didn’t even have to at that point, FrostedBaby just wanted to suck on his hands and sleep after all.

39w6d

I was very excited to get a comment to my last entry! Thank you! My very first comment!

Tomorrow is my due date. How did I get here so fast?

I have a feeling it’s not going to be too much longer. Not sure if I’d make any predictions for what day at this point, but I feel like things are really starting to gear up, between knowing how effaced and dilated I was and having lots of those awesome stabby cervix pains and lots of pressure and all that great stuff pointing to the idea that I’m probably continuing to efface and dilate. Plus last night I think I lost my mucous plug. It wasn’t a big single glob in the toilet like they sometimes say, it was that my CM was all goopy and thick and snotty all of a sudden, where it’s been not like that until now, and it was tinged with pinkish. I haven’t had anything like that before, especially so much all at once or in a short space of time.

Of course, that doesn’t mean much as far as timing… but everything all together seems to be a good sign that I’m continuing to progress in the right direction. I was saying to a friend that this is a lot like the 2ww. You’re hyper sensitive to every twinge and symptom and then you google and you get no answers besides sometimes those are symptoms and sometimes they’re not. The only real symptom of a pregnancy is the positive pregnancy test, and the only way to know you’re about to go into real labour is that you go into real labour.

I will say that I am definitely in prelabour, but I’ve been there for a while and it could continue for a while still. Or I could start five minutes from now. I find that I vacillate depending on what I’m feeling. Haven’t felt much in a while, I’m convinced it’s a while off. Then I get one cramp and I start thinking maybe it could be very soon! And then it goes away and I’m back to thinking it’s not for a while. Good times! I wonder how long it’ll take for me to be convinced I’m actually in labour – a friend of mine was saying even after her contractions defintely changed and she’d phoned the hospital and they said to come in (and she delivered the baby two hours later), she wasn’t really convinced. I was joking that they’d be yelling “PUSH!” and I’d still be saying, “oh, I think it might be sometime soon”. Along with “I can’t believe I’ve made it this far!” 😛

Speaking of which, I finally used, “assuming I make it that far” in a positive way last week. Rather than meaning, “assuming I haven’t lost the baby by then” I meant “assuming I haven’t had the baby by then”. So weird to think in that way instead of feeling like I need to…. whatever it is when you mean it the bad way.  Not take anything for granted? I still have trouble even taking a safe delivery for granted, still feel that I need to add a “hopefully” when talking about things going well.

I was surprised at how calm I was when I thought I might be beginning labour the other day, with the back pain. It was just like, “oh, this could be it” and I just accepted it and went about my business. Went to bed, figuring that if it was it, I’d better get whatever sleep I could and I’d know it if it were worth getting excited about. I expected that either I’d be really freaked out and unable to do anything except pace nervously, or else I’d be so excited that I wouldn’t be able to sleep or be rational and I’d end up pacing excitedly. Maybe when I’m fully convinced that I’m going into labour it’ll be different. Or maybe it’ll just be when I transition into active labour and it starts to really not be fun and all that it’ll hit me. Or maybe I’m just ready to deal with it so it’ll just be “okay, here we go” and I’ll just do it. I think after a few more days of waiting, I’ll just be so glad to be DOING something finally that I won’t even care that it hurts and what it really means.

I find that I’m more nervous about everything in the morning, and then by afternoon/evening I’m less so and more excited. I wonder if that’s strange, or if it’s a hormonal swing thing or something.

39w4d

MW appointment today. 2cm dilated, 60% effaced (more important at this stage), baby’s head fully engaged. She said she would not be surprised if I went soon, possibly before my next appointment (scheduled for Wednesday next week, the day MIL is hoping for since it’s her birthday — guess we don’t need to ask her what she wants for her birthday :P), but I’m not putting too much stock in that since I believe my friend was told that and then hung on another two weeks.

She offered to stretch my cervix for me, said she could stretch it to 4cm, but I declined. I was afraid it would hurt and make me crampy and since a friend and I were going to see a movie right after, I didn’t want to feel yucky for that, or being worried the whole time that I was going into labour in the theatre. Plus, I’m not that impatient yet and things are moving on their own, so I don’t really feel the need to artificially do what my body is already doing okay on its own. Maybe next week I’ll feel differently, but I didn’t feel the need for it yet. They offered last week too and I declined.

My blood pressure was up again, not in a bad range but high for me. Of course, we’d just been talking about labour, and I knew I was going to have the internal check which I never look forward to (well, I wanted to know the results, but not to actually have to have it done), so it could have been that. She’s not concerned but said to watch out for symptoms. I guess it’s not nearly as bad now as it would have been early on since I’m so close to the end anyway (no wonder it’s going up!).

Hmmm. My back has been hurting on and off for the past hour or so, similar to the tired feeling I get but more crampy than that. Less like it just needs to move or be supported better/differently and much more like a muscle thing…. kind of like a mild menstrual cramp but in the back. I’ve also been crampy and BHy a lot today, though not sure if I would say it’s more than usual. Obviously it could be the start of something…. or it might not be. I’m still bleeding from my exam earlier today, which is different than last exam where it stopped pretty quickly after and I only had a bit the next day the first time I went pee. It’s been light but there for most of today, not sure if that’s just because of the exam or if it’s my mucous plug or what. Interesting.

Yes, I realize these are all symptoms of labour, but it’s still too early and mild to really tell if it’s that or just…. whatever it is when it’s pretending to be labour. I googled it (of course) and it seems that sometimes it’s the start, and sometimes people have back pain and cramps and stuff for days before they actually go into labour, so no one’s allowed to get excited yet!

Hmm. I just had cramps, BH, *and* this back pain all at once. Not very intense, but all together at the same time. Interesting.

38w6d/39w0d

I’m not saying that I’m to the point where I’m desperate for this to be over, but I’m definitely getting there. I feel bad saying that because I do still love being pregnant, but I’m finding that I’m more and more uncomfortable.

I look forward to being able to lay on my back again. I look forward to it not being a huge ordeal to move once I lay or sit down. I look forward to being more flexible and agile again. I look forward to being able to eat whatever I want again and not have to worry about there being garlic in everything. I look forward to not having pressure and stabbing pains in my cervix on a regular basis. I look forward to being able to bend over and pick stuff up off the floor. I look forward to not having to pee every hour at night and frequently during the day, except when I actually have to. I look forward to my belly being smaller and not bumping against everything (it gets really annoying and painful after a while). I look forward to completing the pregnancy and knowing I did the whole thing successfully. I look forward to meeting my baby!

I will miss my belly, though maybe not at its current size (really makes me glad I’m not having twins!). I will miss the anticipation leading up to this. I will miss the sense of amazement at my body doing something right for once, though I guess that will transfer to amazement at watching him grow.

I am really uncomfortable today and just in general I feel weird. It’s been getting worse the last few days on and off, but today I’m feeling really hormonal. I don’t know if it’s was waking up at 4am and not being able to get back to sleep until nearly 7 (I considered getting up several times, but I kept feeling like I was going to go back to sleep at any second) and then going back to sleep for another few hours so I’m feeling out of sorts, or what. But I feel really tired and like I could cry at the drop of a hat, which has not been the case for this whole pregnancy. I’ve been feeling crampy a lot and a fair bit of pressure, both just in general when I walk but also when baby moves around, which is common over the last while but I think is increasing in frequency? Unless I’m just getting tired of it or as I’m nearing my due date (one week!) I’m paying more attention.

I think I’ll be packing the last of the hospital bag today, because although I don’t feel like I’m actually going into labour right now… I’m starting to wonder if the hormones and all mean that it’s coming. And if not, then the bag will be ready for when it is. At least I won’t be waking up in the middle of the night obsessing about it.

It could also be that a friend of mine who was two weeks ahead of me and was now approaching 41 weeks but was told at her 38 weeks appointment that she was probably going to go that week but ended up waiting another three weeks… she had her baby last night and I was chatting with her online when she was going into labour. She went off to lay down and relax a bit because she felt that this was it, and the baby was born something like four hours later. That’s pretty exciting and got me excited about it being my turn, so maybe that’s part of it as well.

Either way, at this point I feel like I could very likely be close. Or I could still be weeks away. I definitely see the beauty of being scheduled now 😉

38w1d

MW appointment today. They did an internal to check how my cervix is doing, which wasn’t nearly as awful as I expected given how swollen and sore I am down there. It was painful at first, but they were really nice and did it slowly and it was okay.

Anyway, I’m 1.5cm dilated (not sure about effacement) and his head is right there (so cool! I want to feel!), which means he’s dropped fully, which surprised me since I don’t look or feel any different to suggest that he would be.

It doesn’t really mean a whole lot, except that things are progressing in the right direction. It’s not like they’re predicting I’m going to go into labour anytime soon, except to say that it could be at any point. It’s probably not tomorrow… but it could be.

Funny how hearing about a girl in my prenatal class 8 weeks ago (she was 35-36 weeks at the time) being locked and loaded made me feel scared, but now only a short time later it’s sort of exciting, especially to know that your body just somehow knows what to do. Not that there isn’t some anxiety there about the unknown, but still. I just feel more ready now than I did then.

Today after my appointment I got together with a friend who I haven’t seen in a while and we went to another of her friend’s houses (just around the corner from her) for a pool party, which was really nice especially since it was so hot. I’m hoping to either find my own group of friends who have children of the same age as mine in my area, or else join another group so that I have support from people and grown up socializing and stuff. I’m not always great at meeting people I have a ton in common with because I’m different than the average person, but hopefully having kids in common will help with that a bit. Even if they don’t end up being lifelong friends, I’m okay with that if it helps with the more difficult really early stuff.

37w4d

I took the day off work today since it’s my paperwork and planning day and since tomorrow is my last day of work, there isn’t a whole lot of planning I can do and I’d just be sitting around being uncomfortable at my desk killing time and packing up my desk, which won’t take that long anyway. I took a sick day (after confirming that it was okay with my supervisor, obviously) and I’m glad I did because I got to sleep in this morning, I got some phone calls made that I haven’t gotten around to yet, I got some more stuff organized in the nursery, and I took a nap. I am still feeling tired, but not nearly as much as previously. I was really uncomfortable this morning since baby was all up in my diaphragm and I felt like I couldn’t breath for most of the morning, but now I’m feeling better.

I had a MW appointment yesterday. I asked if he’s dropped and she said that he’s probably an inch into my pelvis, meaning he is on his way, but hasn’t fully done it yet, which is pretty much what I was figuring based on how I was feeling. Nothing much else to report from it. BP was a bit high at first (well, for me), but they took it again at the end of the appointment and it was back down so it was probably because I was talking (I had the student and the MW in the room, and I had just asked a question as the student started taking my BP) or something like that. I have another appointment on Monday so if it is going up, we’ll see it again then, but I don’t really anticipate anything. And at this point I’m not as concerned because I’ll be off work and it’s not a big deal if they want to induce since I’m so far along anyway. Not that I want that, but it’s not like they’re just waiting for me to reach 37 weeks so they can get that baby out of there, or needing to do it before or something.

I’ve noticed that my weekly emails mention something about reporting to your doctor if you don’t feel the baby move as much, and the MW student mentioned it as well (usually it’s just “are you feeling the baby move?”, which I do ALL THE TIME), which makes me wonder if there’s something they’re looking for. I’m not really sure I want to know if there’s a high incidence of problems happening at this stage, though usually all the informational things just love to tell you about all the perils your baby is in so maybe it’s just a precautionary thing, maybe there’s potential for cord problems or something? I’m feeling him moving quite a lot and I can usually trigger him to move pretty easily (just by leaning forward and squishing him… he really doesn’t like that!) if he’s not active at any particular moment so I’m not too concerned, it just caught my attention but I’m trying not to google anything because the last thing I need over the next few weeks when I’m at home and have too much time to think is to be concerned about that. Once again, very happy to have a wiggly guy even if it’s not always the most comfortable thing anymore.

The nursery is slowly turning back into a real room rather than just a storage room for all the stuff so it’s not all over the place. I decided to just dump all the larger sizes of clothes into a big bin we have and put it in the closet for easy access and then I can go through a lot of that stuff once he’s born and we have a better idea of what size he is. I still have a whole bunch of different sizes hanging in the closet, so that’ll make it a bit easier to know when he might be ready for a lot of them. I know that baby clothes aren’t all cut the same so just because he fits one in a particular size doesn’t mean he’ll fit everything, but if I tried to hang everything I’d spend his college money on hangers. Any of the clothes that I’m madly in love with I’ve hung up so that I won’t miss my chance for him to wear them (frog sleepers top this list!), but I figure so much of it probably won’t get worn anyway because there’s just so much of it. Also in that box are the winter stuff so at the very least I’ll be going through a lot of it when the weather changes. A lot of the stuff in the box is 6 or more months so chances are he won’t fit them for a while anyway, regardless.

We got some of our maternity pictures back from the photographer. Well, she put up an online gallery of a selection of them, so I don’t actually have them, but we can see some of them and she’s sending us a CD of all of them. I’m excited to see the rest because with our wedding pictures (same photographer, I forget if I mentioned that here or not), there were a bunch that she chose to print that I would have chosen others instead and there were so many good ones that we could never decide which ones we wanted to print. Which is not good since we have next to none printed out and none of them up on our walls or anything, but it’s good because we have so many great pictures. So I’m curious how many there are that she didn’t put up in the online gallery. I’m pretty excited to see the newborn ones as well, though I guess we’ll have to have a newborn and take the pictures first 😉

I’m glad tomorrow is my last day of work, but I’m also sort of sad about it. I’m going to miss my clients. At the same time, I’m really looking forward to having some time off before the baby arrives (as I said, I’m hoping for a week at least) since I haven’t had a vacation since March and I won’t ever have a vacation again 😉 Or not for a very long time, in any case. I’d like some time to relax and nap and take it easy before the real work starts. I’m looking forward to that as well, but I’m definitely going to enjoy the time I have left!