I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels


My weekly “you’re x weeks” from yesterday email said that I have a month left. WHATWHATWHAT?! It’s from the UK so either they count differently, or else they figure that most people deliver at or before 38 weeks? I’m not sure which.

The day before yesterday I was feeling really uncomfortable. Shortly after I got up I was having some pains in my lower belly, not unlike period cramps but not quite either. They came and went a few times and I was starting to wonder if I was actually going into labour, but then they stopped. To be fair, every new pain like that makes me wonder if I’m going into labour so it probably doesn’t say a whole lot about what I was feeling. I get gas cramps or feel like I have to poop and I idly wonder since that’s how a lot of people describe their first labour pains 😛

After that I was just feeling not very good and then when I was sitting down writing thank you cards for the shower, I started feeling lightheaded so I had to stop. It would go away when I would stand up or lay down somewhere else, but then would return soon after I sat down again. At the rate I’m going, they’ll never get done because I keep feeling uncomfortable 😛 (Actually, I sat down again yesterday morning to work on them and I think I’ve finished them now, though I was starting to feel bad again towards the end).

I ended up laying down for a little over an hour and took a nap and stuff and felt a lot better, so not sure what was up with that. My guess is baby was just in a bad position and making me really uncomfortable and then he moved so I felt better, plus the sleeping helped since I was really tired.

We did some stuff for my husband’s birthday, including going out for drinks with some friends and then to dinner with different friends (drinks friends had dinner plans already), so I was glad to be feeling better since I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to join them. I have enough trouble getting comfy in restaurants at the best of times, let alone when I’m having a lot of issues with that. I was getting uncomfortable at points, but the good part about being pregnant is that no one bugs you if you want to stand around in weird positions 😛 (I find bending forward and leaning on tables or chairs can help ease my backache, probably both because it gets it in a different position and shifts baby around a bit).

Yesterday my husband was off for his last trip before the baby is born, which makes me glad. I’m starting to worry about going into labour unexpectedly, so having him within Get-Here-NOW distance is reassuring. I’m not really used to feeling that – I mean, I’m never thrilled when he goes away but most of the time it is what it is. Now I feel like I have to think about a backup plan, if I go into labour while he’s away, what do I do? Well, besides call my midwife right away since I’m still before 37 weeks 😛

I wondering if the baby flipped around again since the night before last I was feeling like I had a bellyful of kittens all wiggling around like crazy and then I had the lightheaded issues yesterday, which my chiropractor and I have been wondering if it’s his head pressing on a blood vessel, and then I didn’t have it for a while and my MW started saying he was head up and blah blah, so maybe it’s him in head down position that does it? I’m totally speculating here just for fun.

I think I’ve hit the 3rd trimester fatigue finally, I’m feeling a lot more sleepy these days. Not as bad as the first trimester, but not as energetic as I have been. I guess better than getting that burst of energy that signals prelabour 😛 If/when I get that, it’ll be pretty obvious!

Today I’ve had a lot more cervix pressure and feeling like it’s irritated (similar to that prickly feeling when you have a UTI) which is a lot worse when I walk, which I do a lot at work. Luckily it’s my replacement’s time to take over programs with me just as support, so I was able to sit down a lot and just be in the sidelines for a good portion of the day, which helped a lot. That in combination with the feeling yucky on the weekend makes me wonder if I’m about to hit the “okay, I’m ready for this to be over” pretty soon. I guess I’ve been lucky it’s taken so long and I’ve been relatively discomfort and pain-free most of the time. My right hip has been really bothering me last night and today, no matter what I was doing. When I was driving to and from work it was bothering me then too, making me wonder if I was have sciatica pain or if it was just my hip continuing to hurt.

My belly was just literally rocking back and forth very forcefully. Very odd. Wish I’d been able to capture it on video.

I don’t think I wrote about my last appointment. I saw the student again, and she still says he’s head down and the MW still says he’s head up. There is also a discrepancy between my fundal height, though that is partially because the student was measuring the baby and not the top of the uterus. In any case, they are sending me for an ultrasound, which I scheduled for this week Thursday, though I’m not sure what it’ll tell them since apparently they can still flip around and move around. I’m not sure if he’s head down, if that means he won’t be flipping back up, or what. But it seems like if he can go one way, he could go the other if he really wanted to. In any case, I am not upset about having to go since I haven’t seen him since 18 weeks and would love to take another peek, especially if it’s a short one. I’m hoping they’ll be able to give me an idea of what size he is, although I’ve heard that’s notoriously unreliable. So I guess the highlight is to hopefully see him (or parts of him since he’s too big to see on one screen now) again.

We did a tour of the L&D ward at the hospital last week as well, which was good to do. Now we know where it is and what to expect to find there. The rooms are large and I can have up to two guests (husband/birth partner isn’t included in that count, he’s assumed to be there) so that means that if I want to call my mom to come help out, I can. We’re leaving that decision to the time of, but it’s good to know that it’s a possibility.

I’m starting to feel the urge to pack my hospital bag and get the last minute stuff (disposable diapers for the first few days, pads for myself, etc) together just in case. I’m still hoping to go another 6 weeks, but realistically it could be sooner (though preferably not for another 3 at least, to make it to 37 weeks!) and with the stuff I’m feeling, I feel like things are gearing up. Not imminently, but getting there.

Wow, 6 weeks. That’s, like, not very much. I forget if I’ve written this before (I scrolled back and didn’t see it but I was just skimming) but I’m starting to feel like I wish it was just here already (“it” being labour and all that stuff, the action part of things) so that I could just deal with it and not have all this anticipation. I can’t decide if I’m more excited or nervous about the whole thing. Or if I’m still in shock. Ha, just wait for the shock after he’s born.

I still sometimes wonder if I’m actually pregnant. I wake up in the morning and wonder if it’s all been a dream. I see myself in a mirror or a window and I can’t believe that I look like that. Me! With a baby belly! Who is that person? I wonder if I’ll have a baby in my arms and have the same reaction.

I signed up for breastfeeding classes at the hospital for a few weekends from now. It’s an hour class taught by lactation consultants so you know what to expect and hopefully get some contact info for them for after if/when you need help. I’m looking forward to it since it’s been a concern of mine after all the stories I’ve heard and how pretty much everyone except one person I know has given up. I don’t mind not doing it if I’ve given it my best shot and it’s not working for some reason, but I don’t want it to be because I didn’t have the proper supports to continue with it. It’s just something I consider very important and always have, ever since I can remember and even before it became the popular thing to do. I just hope I’m not setting myself up for failure by feeling so strongly about it, or setting myself up for feeling bad about myself.

Baby is squirming around and making me very uncomfortable, plus I think I have to pee (which doesn’t help with the pressure down low) so I’m off to head to bed and read for a bit before I sleep. It’s early but I’ve been so tired and some of it may be lack of sleep over the weekend. And laying down with Snoogle solves all my problems, so that seems like a good solution. I don’t know what I would do without Snoogle. I think the company should pay me a lot of money to endorse them.


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