I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels


When I was in biology class, I always thought that the reproduction unit where you learn about babies and development and all that made it sound like an alien taking over someone’s body. I heard later that a lot of people thought the same way, and that it is sort of like that.

What I didn’t expect was how much it actually *feels* like that.

I can no longer eat garlic, which I love. I, sans alien parasite, would eat garlic in everything and anything. I’ve always wanted to go to one of those garlic restaurants where even the dessert has garlic in it.

I have absolutely no interest in sweets. I’ve never had a major sweet tooth, but I would rarely turn down caramel or a bit of chocolate, etc., but now I have no interest. We had some christmas cookies from a friend and at some point during our eating of that tin (we’d eat a couple of cookies every night after dinner), I lost all interest in eating any of it. I had a couple left that I hadn’t been in the mood for when my husband ate his last ones, and I ended up letting him eat them because I knew I wasn’t going to. And these are home made peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate, and homemade salty caramel, so we’re talking something special here! The only sweets I have any real interest in might be ice cream, but even that doesn’t hold the same appeal as it did before.

And maybe TMI, but usually my sex drive rivals most men’s. Or most rumours of men’s. I think maybe all those things about men wanting sex all the time is an exaggeration, and that women are all lying about how much they think about sex, but it could be that I’m the exception. It wouldn’t be the first time that I fall outside the average. In any case, right now I have absolutely no interest in sex. It’s not that I don’t want to, and I can totally be convinced, but if he’s not interested then I really don’t care. Before, it was like, “okay, it’s been two days, let’s get going, I’m dying!” and now it’s more like, “has it really been a week already? Huh. Oh well”.

I’ve even thought that perhaps if I, um…. took matters in my own hands… that perhaps it would trigger whatever hormones control that and I’d get my interest back. But most of the time, even with that idea in place, I FORGET to do it. Who forgets about that? Certainly not me!

So no garlic, no chocolate, no sex… WHO AM I?! I don’t feel like myself, I barely recognize myself. I wonder if that goes away after the first trimester along with the rest of the crap, or if that stays. And maybe gets worse as your belly grows and you start to change physically?

I wonder what causes all the changes, particularly the food aversions and stuff, and why they show up differently in each woman. Why is garlic my thing, and someone else can’t stand coffee, and still someone else can’t stand red meat? Why do some women have cravings? So far I haven’t had any, but that could just be because the thought of most food makes me want to puke, though since I’ve been back at work I’ve been a bit better at eating properly. Interesting, this whole thing, at the very least.


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