I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

2nd beta is good!

Had my second beta yesterday morning. They finally called me at around 1:30 in the afternoon. I know I can’t expect them to call until at least 12:30 or so, but every second after that kills me. Glad I was at work and distracted. It’s hard to dwell on yourself too much in my job, which can be both a really good thing and a really bad thing depending on what’s going on.

Again I forget what the exact number she said was, but it was in the 300s. I calculated based on the first beta of 94 that during that time, I should be in the 230s or so if they were doubling in the 48 hours as they should, so that number looks really really good.

I am scheduled for a viability scan on January 14, which (assuming I get that far) should be around 8 weeks or so, so I should know definitely either way if things are looking good or not.

I’ve decided to tell people that I would tell anyway if things go bad, which is a surprising number of people. I hope I’m not jinxing anything, but I thought about it and decided that I’d rather share the good news first and we can all be happy, than have to say that I had good news, but not anymore later on. This may be the only good news I ever get to share, so I might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

So far not too many symptoms that leap out as definite symptoms and not just me being me. I’ve been feeling quite tired, but I often do, and I haven’t slept very well for several nights lately, including a few last week, so it could be that I’m just tired from that. I did feel mildly nauseated this morning, but I often get that just randomly — the not really feeling awful stuff, but just feeling a bit off.

A co-worker just went through her first IVF treatment and I told her and said that there are good vibes going around. How awesome would it be if it worked for her! Her tubes are partially blocked, so her chances of ever doing in on her own are really low. I just hope if it doesn’t work that she doesn’t feel mad at me or anything. Though it’s hard to be mad at people you know who have struggled as well, just those people who get it so easily. Ha, look at me, Judgey McJudgeypants. But I can’t help the way it feels, whether it’s justified or not, or whatever.


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